Guarantee that's going to be the final. I'm gonna vote Netflix. It's more reliable, less expensive, less disappointing, always there when I want it, and has never made me feel betrayed when someone else watched it behind my back.

I can watch Netflix for 12 hours straight. I cannot watch free porn for 12 hours straight.

All love to Killer Mike & El-P, but that's my favorite line from this song. Hell of a lot of truth to fit into only seven words.

That makes sense. They pick the most garbage melons for those things. A ripe honeydew doesn't taste anything like what you get on a fruit platter.

SPOILERS:

I'm sure that's what England said about the Pilgrims.

Kanye is in the Illuminati, and that picture contains coded messages about their vast conspiracy that only a guy with a tumblr and a poor grasp of capitalization can uncover.

Honeydew is freaking awesome. The reason it always gets left on the fruit platter is because the catering companies always get these half-ripe melons that are mostly rind. I don't know why they do that.

Yeah, I kind of hope they don't renew it. The third season hasn't been great, but it hasn't been "Oh my god what have you done" bad either. End it before everybody's mad at it.

Nah, Mars may eventually be habitable. If there's one lesson to be learned from America, it's don't send your unwanted extremists somewhere you might want to live one day.

Now that it's Schedule I, I can't imagine why you'd take it. If you're going to risk that much jail, get a better drug. The only reason to ever take GHB was because it was a shitty, short-acting facsimile of Ecstasy that carried fewer legal consequences.

In 2000? I'm guessing GHB, which was originally considered a party drug before it got its date rape reputation.

I did that with my ex-wife. Some switch went off in my head or something and I was like, "OK, time to wear suits and talk about business and live in the suburbs." It was awful, but I didn't realize it until after she left me and I was (eventually) like, "Oh my god THANK YOU. What the hell happened to me?"

I like spooky creepy Jaden better than regular creepy Jaden. Please go back to talking about space crystals or whatever.

I've also stalked people and found out they were 100% as awesome as I had hoped and ended up liking them even more

Internet-stalking potential dates can only go 1 of 2 ways: either you find out they're a horrible person you hate before you go out, and cancel the date, or you find out they're a horrible person you hate after you go out, because they're really good at privacy settings. At least free porn never leaves you more…

It's gonna go down to Netflix vs. Binge Watching and everybody is going to be hella confused.

I've been celibate for 3 years, but I have GrubHub and LA Bite bookmarked, so.

IMAX is only still around because it hasn't faced any real competition. No sane person enjoys going to other people's weddings.

How the hell did Throwback Thursday make it this far? You all really enjoy seeing your friend's selfie from 3 years ago that looks exactly like her selfie from yesterday except her hair was different?