My parents kid-leashed me and my sister because we had a habit of wandering off and disappearing in stores. I am currently a 30-year-old functional adult and have a good relationship with my parents. It probably helped curtail their anxiety so I have no problem with it.

Nice try. Should have at least tried to use different examples, gifs and clips.

Sucks dude. I came down here to say the same thing. I read your Cracked piece a few days ago. Hope this gets taken down because it’s a really, really super blatant plagiarism.

Aw that’s too bad! I had a nice experience kind of second-hand encounter with Joseph Gordon Levitt. I used to live in a small Cajun university town kind of in the middle of nowhere and was eating in our only sushi restaurant when he came in with Emily Blunt (they were filming Looper on a plantation nearby). The…

Oh my Gooood what parade is your dog in so I can go see it?

That’s crazy, but a good reminder that people going pescetarian better look up the government standards for fish consumption... a lot of dietary guidelines recommend you don’t eat some of the larger, more popular fish species more than once a week. And they can change based on your locality and the toxicity of your…

All that protein and fiber... The Rock must take some crazy dumps.

It’s a great name!

Thanks. You’re probably right. I love my mom and she’s a very giving woman who probably doesn’t get recognized as such very often.

Just for reference, here’s my mom being a badass. I love you, mom!

haha, I think if I remember correctly it was a great egret in breeding plumage. my mom paints watercolors of birds and she decided she needed to do whatever it took to take a reference picture of this particular bird.

My mom is a fuckin’ badass. One time my dad left her outside the Houston embassy while he was trying to get a visa for a work trip and she saw a bird she liked (she’s a crazy bird lady) so she tried to take a picture of it and fell down a railroad embankment and broke her arm. Well, she didn’t want to ruin a perfectly…

My mom is a transplanted Midwestern lady living in a small island town in south Texas. There are a lot of great stories I could tell about her (she was briefly Mormon because the only church within walking distance of her family’s farm was a Mormon temple and then she got a scholarship to BYU and, as she likes to tell…

I enjoy reading about the diversity of people who don’t have dishwashers. My last place in New Orleans, a cute 100-year-old cypress wood house, came with a 1950s kitchen, a.k.a. no dishwasher. I’m moving to Texas now, into a city with mostly glossy mega luxury apartment complexes and my realtor looked at me like I had…

People always try to talk you into eating stuff anyway if you’re allergic, like it will magically cure you. I’m allergic to shellfish and moved to south Louisiana for about seven years for work. Thankfully generally shellfish is a very well understood allergy but there it just fucking blew people’s minds, and I can’t…

Damn! That’s hardcore.

Oh yeah. I mean, once I got some perspective on everything I wasn’t mad about it. I was only his second girlfriend ever and he was about to spend four years moving around the country and doing multiple tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan. I also spent the next few years moving around for my career. It was not meant…

It’s like a Nicholas Sparks novel for stoners! The man left me, but the bong and I loved on until he couldn’t love any longer. And then he broke.

My only serious college boyfriend and I were both huge stoners and our relationship mostly revolved around smoking out of his giant, beloved two-foot decorative purple bong named “The Mystery Machine,” having sex and playing Super Smash Bros. Melee. He was in the Army ROTC had to enter the service after college. Since…

Oh man, my boyfriend and I saw Neutral Milk Hotel in New Orleans last year. Like many other people of a certain age, I became super obsessive with them in college and have all of In the Aeroplane Over the Sea completely memorized but never got to see them in person. I’m pretty sure every person in the room was singing…