My God.

I was working in a smallish rural city in south Louisiana working for a newspaper with a bunch more 20-somethings from all over the country, and being young and stranded we would go to anything that came to town that had a chance of being mildly fun. One of my coworkers was a huge metalhead and when a KISS cover band…

I hear you girl. I got those .5 mg xanax too.

OMG. We got a memory foam topper about a year ago and suddenly some things make sense to me.

Girl I feel you. I think periods are super gross and mine are short anyway so I basically pretend like I don’t have a vagina for a few days during them. That’s all me and not my man, cause he’s always down. If it comes down to it, we’ll just usually do some high school over the jeans kinda stuff instead (with maybe a…

It’s an all-night drug free/alcohol free party parents and/or schools throw the night of high school graduation. At least at my school, the parents raised money for it all year and bought tons of expensive raffle and door prizes to incentivize kids to go. There were laptops, TVs, dorm room appliances, etc etc. People…

I was never asked out by any dudes at my high school either and had no self-esteem about my appearance, but then I went away to a big college and was suddenly knee deep in dudes and had no idea what happened. I remember in particular this moment where my best girlfriend, who had a big group of dude friends from high…

Your project graduation sounds awful. We had project graduation at my high school and it was just a bonanza of free shit. No one was trying to fake friendly. They just rented a bunch of bounce houses and games and made us stay up all night and gave away a bunch of free shit. I was a giant, resentful nerd and hated…

Oh Lord. This is my nightmare. I sleepwalk when I drink sometimes but thankfully I sleep in my underwear and (thank God) one of my sleepwalking rituals is to frantically find something to wear to cover my boobs when I get out of bed because I'm always dreaming that there are other people around who will see my boobs,…

I have not. I work for as the communications person for a marine research institute now (ironically) so this could be useful knowledge.

I always felt sorry for that turtle. He had this weird experience getting manhandled by all these people and then just as he thinks it’s over some lady barfs all over him.

Oh man, I’ve barfed at Disney World too. I was a little kid and not thinking rationally so I knew I had to barf but for some reason was too embarrassed to tell everyone I had to barf? So I told my mom I really needed to use the bathroom so she’d take me to a toilet but of course we didn’t make it in time and I left a…

A few years ago I was working as an environment reporter at a small newspaper on the Gulf Coast when some of my buddies from the Department of Wildlife and Fisheries invited me along to cover the release of a rehabilitated sea turtle. I was like, BEST ASSIGNMENT EVER.

This is more of a "I had no excuse," story, but a few years ago I was working at a newspaper and my buddy the cops reporter was doing a ride along that day with the police for a seat belt enforcement event. So we talked about this for awhile and then she and the photographer left to meet the cop and right afterward I…

That sucks. My boyfriend is a middle school English teacher. He'll deny the kids bathroom breaks cause there are a few that do pull that shit all the time, but he never denies a period emergency.

Wait, so now my mom is doing some magical paleo shit when she uses the turkey carcass to make soup after Thanksgiving?

He didn't play his drums at night for awhile after that... So I think I probably did.

Whoa! I lived there about 10 years ago so I'd like to think it was a LITTLE more chill then but... that honestly doesn't surprise me. :) That place was so skeezy when I finally moved.

Yeah... he was exactly like you'd think too.

I loved living in Austin in general, this apartment complex was just burnout city. But that was 8-ish years ago. Douchebaggery has soared since then.