I almost jumped into traffic (squealing, tearfully) a few years ago when a Porsche 917 passed by in downtown Watkins Glen. My wife literally had to grab my arm to prevent an incident.

You know, there are some sins that are really really pleasant to look at.

Probably learned their lesson after the penis.

Yeah, it was geared to do 60mph tops. I didn’t want to have to modify it after paying what was then an near-unreasonable amount for a creampuff Corolla.

He should put skull of ram on turbos. Then finished.

Yeah, and of course Mavis Beacon installs just fine. Dammit.

You know, I’m 35 and I was briefly excited about Googling the term and learning something fascinating about naval goings-on but, goddammit. Good to know anyway, I guess. You’d think I know better by now.

Decepticon murder/suicide.

Some lunches in Austin are worth the risk...

It’s such a perfect little car. I balked at a mint ‘72 wagon a few years ago because it was an automatic, still kind of regret it.

You guys should seriously make a list of these cars you pine for and get some test drives. A veritable Jalopnik Wish List come temporarily true...and we reap the ad-laden benefits. (HEY I BUY STUFF!)

Hehe, FRAM.

*nerd scream from the dark corner of the room* IT’S A METAPHOR, JASON!

6800lbs and a 0-60 below 7 seconds.

I understand. I’m starting to feel like this article is asking for an extended conference-style conversation, there are just too many problems with his thesis.

Does the Jalopnik staff collectively post these single images as some kind of obscenely timid quest for permission? If so, that’s what’s wrong with you.

Also I take issue with the Dark Knight Returns tank not making sense. In a crazed alternate future, it’s the perfect representation of the inadequacies of a physically deteriorating Bruce Wayne and his abilities to directly deal with modern crime. Sometimes the Batmobile is a character in itself, and like other…

It would fit fine in Snyder’s film if it was a Chrysler product chasing other Chrysler products.

It is difficult to stomach the Baltimore/Maryland accent. Speaking as a native.

Pass the baton and have a friend complete the gear change when you hit neutral.