Imagine telling your new husband “Hey, you know how we’ve never had sex?  Well, I’m pregnant.  God did it.”  And actually convincing him of that.

We’re one step closer to these clowns telling their viewers to shoot themselves in the head to “own the libs.”

I wish I was rich enough that I could blow $300k and then just shrug it off. I’d waste it on something far more interesting than an old ferry, too.

Whatever your thoughts on buying vs. adopting, breeders, etc., can we all agree on “fuck PETA”? They’re bunch of extremist trolls who kill animals because they think the “slavery” of pet ownership is worse than death itself.

Meanwhile, I’m just waiting for Tron 3 and a new Herbie movie (real Herbie, not that kiddie Knight Rider-esque reboot they threatened to make). Maybe that’s just a different kind of creatively bankrupt, but regular ol’ sequels are far more capable of treading new ground than “live action” remakes featuring emotionless…

I don’t think the ground refueling would fly today. If you’re using in-flight refueling, you don’t need to limit yourself to a little plane with a really slow stall speed. Get yourself a nice sized private jet so you have room for a bathroom, a full size bed, a cargo bay capable of holding 2 months of food, and enough…

It’s not like non-white gingers don’t exist, either.

Considering a traffic cop just got demoted for refusing to honour the NYPD’s literal “get out of jail free” cards, I’m gonna go with a hard no.  They’re rotten to the core, and anyone who attempts to clean up the org from the inside gets hammered down.

. . . how would they know the genital makeup of alien skeletons?

Only if you try to keep using them as money. You really think every kid that’s used one of those penny-smashing machines at the mall is a criminal?

RFK Jr. also talks to dead people.  Real “stable genius” stuff.

Twitter is becoming so hostile to decent people that pretty soon their ad space will look like Faux: they’ll just oscillate between MyPillow and people hawking gold.

Hey, instead of plastering his smug face everywhere, can you just put a poop emoji at the top of every Muskrat article?

uBlock Origin

I’ve never understood using a “Reddit app.” I have this great app called Firefox that let’s me visit any website on the internet.

Wait, why do they hate Petsmart?

It’ll “grow on me” like what, a tumour? A zombie fungus? There’s no way in hell I’ll ever learn to like these giant bucktooth grilles.

I love the ‘58 Edsel.  And the ‘60.  The ‘59 is ugly though.

Can’t wait for a movie starring Michael Fassbender’s chrome skeleton.

I love driving this thing in GTA.