This might be the greatest post in the history of Gawker. This man is asking the right questions!

Yeah, I hate that about margs because they don’t HAVE to be so sweet, but when I order them out they’re sugar loaded. At home, I just stick with unsweetened lime and tequila and a ton of ice. Sometimes we’ll throw in something else to sweeten it, like OJ, but not straight sugar.

He walked into the backyard with a bluetooth speaker blaring American Woman and carrying a twelve pack of Budweiser tall boys, cracked one open and threw it to me.

“Fake news. I read on Breitbart that the caddy is a liberal, Trump-hating plant put in place at the club by the DNC. He changed the ball out without the President’s knowledge then leaked it to the press to make him look bad. No obstruction. No collusion. Build the wall. #MAGA”

Your buddy’s experience is the totality of the conflict and war. Serbs went after the innocent Bosnian “refugees” for no reason. Case closed.

The only way this could be better is if you’d said, “she would of won.”

Jezebel is more than 50% men. It is a men’s version of a women’s site. ie have more sex, violent sex is empowering, love porn, be a hooker, we are all victims gah! etc.

We need to deport them then, that is too many people.

*Asked for example.*

+1 McGrupp for the handle

I’d just like to say I’m proud of myself right now because this was the first time I was all “Hey, is this guy that tomato dude?” BEFORE the chorus of “Fuck off, Tomatoface” comments started.

It’s Alabaman or Alabamian, for the record, though Alabamaniacs might be more appropriate. If you know Mississippi, Georgia, and the Florida Panhandle, you can get a good sense of how it is mostly in Alabama. But like with any other state, the general stereotype of Alabama is not entirely accurate. For instance,…

Well, you use swear words so I don’t believe your an English teacher

an apolitical and popular family member

God you’re insufferable. Instead of mounting any defense, or not, you simply attack the messenger.

10 eggs is frittata territory, not your traditional omlette.

Nor should you be. But right now you should be silent on your own accord. I too will be silent about this. 

Love your name, but not the entirety of this take. Don Jr is not exactly apolitical, nor is he widely popular outside of the Trump political base. If Senate Republicans are coming to their senses, then it will lend credence to the Democratic position heading into 2020. I think this is mostly good, but it might just be…

Well, I just don’t see people who would normally vote D and have been dreaming of getting Trump out of the white house for the past two years suddenly seeing a Republican led Senate subpoena Trump’s large son and change their mind. That’s a pretty big leap. I realize most of this country has brain worms, but they…

Billy Haisley ordering a cheeseburger: