“Jim would 100% be the “above it all” fuckface that proudly claims to be an independent, finds a way to blame “both sides” for everything, and reliably votes Republican.”

Exactly.

Unless, you know, you’ve ever actually watched the show... 

“Yes, that’s right, Jack Ryan is going up against the terrifying threat of...a nuclear-armed Venezuela.”

Um...  So fucking what?

“It Chapter Two Is Bad and Dumb”

“Also, fret not, for though Banks”

Weird that you keep referring to the character by his first name.
Y’all are good friends? 

Thank God Brad Pitt “confirmed” that Tarantino is interested in something that TARANTINO HIMSELF ALREADY SAID HE WAS CONSIDERING DOING WAY THE FUCK BACK WHEN IT PREMIERED IN MAY.

Christ, that’s horrifying.

uh actually It wasnt very good

“it’s not some henious, unforgivable thing unless you’re a prude.”

Nor is that what “wretched” means, so... 

When are you posting your full review?

“TV clowns weren’t really a thing anymore by the 1980s.”

Pssst, you couldn’t walk past a TV in the 80s without seeing 50 McDonald’s commercials. 

“In all honesty, the movie had two options - either try to do Tim Curry better than Tim Curry (Not really possible) or go the exact opposite way Curry played the character.”

No they didn’t. There are countless ways they could’ve gone with Pennywise, many of which could’ve included character design that doesn’t make him…

“Even more so than Finn Wolfhard did as a young Richie in Chapter One”

“and this could constitute a spoiler but, hey, it’s in the trailer”

It’s really unfortunate that they decided to put this in the trailer, though I guess nowadays you have to let people know that white men are the bad guys so that fragile white boys know to boycott it rather than watch it and be traumatized by it...

“Dude is such a has-been, that at first I thought you meant the former NBA player, Isaiah Thomas.”

You thought they accidentally wrote “Washington” instead of “Thomas”?

Yeah...that’s because he’s a has-been...

“I felt for him in the whole hubbub of the Grey’s Anatomy “event”.”

Yeah, I felt bad for the poor homophobe too...

WOW, you’re smart.

“This woman wants equal pay but she doesn’t have equal experience”

Good point. She had her first script produced in 2002 and he had his first in 2009. She has 27 produced writing credits and he has three.

So yeah, VERY different levels of experience.

“Talk about privilege.”

Talk about a sexist, racist piece of shit!

How are you this stupid?

THE OTHER WRITER offered her the money he was given. NOT the studio.

It wasn’t even a semblance of parity.

“What is it about seeing a white guy that makes employers give him gobs of money for no real reason?”

What is it about you making something up that has nothing to do with this story?

Dunno. 

“This smacks of Netflix offering Monique 6 figures for a series special, which is more work, and then offering the Confederates Benioff and Weiss (yes, I’ll probably always think of them like that from now on) 9 figures to do any stupid thing they want.”

Sure it does.