*sigh*

“So they won’t be a single flavor, ergo are unguessable.”

That’s a great theory, only muddled by the fact that Oreo has done this before and many people guessed it right. And also the fact that many people have gotten it right this time too.

But yeah, unguessable, probably... 

Nice story they told you.

“Big cinnamon in the cookie, and the filling tastes like cream cheese frosting.”

I mean, did you even try one? 

Like flying a kite at night.

Spoiler alert.

“here was a picture of something that appeared to be a yak.”

Howzabout doing a quick google image search and looking at a yak before proclaiming the picture on Oreo’s website to be a yak.

It is certainly, without a doubt, not a yak. 

“I’m not taking it personally.”

Obviously. All your previous comments notwithstanding. 

“Well yikes, so I’m only allowed to comment on something that impacts me and only me?”

No, but when you reply defensively, completely out of nowhere, people are going to take it as the implication that it is and call you out on it.

Don’t want to be called a misogynist? Then don’t preemptively be so defensive about not…

“To be fair, Captain Marvel was a shitty movie and Brie Larson was as wooden as a canoe.”

To be truthful, not it wasn’t and no she wasn’t.

Why? Did Zach & Miri’s failure stop him from making red state? Did Red State’s lack of box office stop him from making Tusk? Did nobody paying to see Tusk stop him from making his Jay & Silent Bob reboot?

“Let me guess...the film isn’t “woke” enough for you?”

Jesus, fuck off already. 

“If I was worried about my private business showing up in the news, I would probably stop posting it on social media rather than engaging in an elaborate sting operation to catch the culprit.”

If you knew someone was spreading your private messages you’d just ignore it and not care who did it?

“If I want to keep something private... I don’t tell it to anybody”

“Rebekah Vardy is, well, the opposite.”

I’d love an explanation of how being married to a rags-to-riches story is somehow the opposite of being married to your high school sweetheart.

“I’m sure HBO’s attention to mental illness in its shows will be handled with the complexity, depth and nuance that you would expect from a major entertainment producer and not relegated to one-note stereotypes.”

Stereotypes of what? This is about them adding disclaimers to shows. Did you even read the fucking article…

Plus, it helped to catch the Ex-Presidents.

LET’S ALL GET ANGRY WITH THE CHEF WHO HAS HIRED AND CONTINUES TO HIRE WOMEN BECAUSE HE’S NOT A SCIENTIST (psst, we know that because he’s a chef) AND ALL HE KNOWS ABOUT FEMALE CHEFS IS WHAT HE’S WITNESSED WITH HIS OWN TWO FUCKING EYES OVER THE COURSE OF HIS DECADES-LONG CAREER.

“What, exactly, do you think evolution is?”

Secondly, Heston Blumenthal didn’t write this article you’re responding to.

Who, exactly, do you think you’re asking?

“How to Stop Hating Candy Corn”