“It’s also something of a relief to learn that The Batman will not be yet another retelling”

But I...added blackness TO the name...

“objectively speaking...True Detective season one all over again.”

Ok hear me out though. Your opinion is not objective.
Period. 

I believe you mean “Blorro”.

“Meat should not be crispy like that.”

Welp, no need to read beyond that. 

“Therefore, Sausage>Bacon.”

I don’t see how that makes sausage the winner. 

“What would I rather have on a breakfast sandwich?”
Bacon.

Bacon.

“Anyway, we just hope there’s a few scenes where an angry teen cracks open a cursed Magic 8 Ball so we can finally see what’s inside.”

You want to see that in more than one scene? 

“I probably should have said that rather than “some time ago” but that’s what I meant.”

What’s the point of you lying about this?
EVERYONE reading your comment knows that you read “he lost a while ago, since the show is taped in blocks months in advance” and because you’re really, really smart you thought it meant that…

“So unless everyone has an active Jeopardy news block and has for a while, this spoiler was inevitable.”

Doubling down on being a full of shit idiot, huh?

“I mean, the article says that it aired some time ago...”

Learn to read. 

“Could this be the start of the Culkin Renaissance foretold in the prophecies?”

no 

So, if he watched more basketball he’d be more of a superstitious idiot?

“Drake is literally what is making people outside of Toronto care at all about the Raptors.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, sure.

This was great, and the “in conversation” he had with John Mulaney was so, so, so funny.

And also, his episode of Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend is the best on yet.

You sound fun.

“she asked Cook”

Why? 

“But the rest of Canada loves the triggering of you narcissists, so keep it up Murica”

Yeah, because it’s always Toronto whining about the rest of Canada, not the exact opposite. 

“Rational people would say fat…”

How do you know it isn’t all muscle?