Now I don’t know what to believe!

Over near the grassy goal line.

he claims his wife was helping him put his clothes on, but really she was helping smash the scarab beetles.

Since this is Max “what broken nose” Scherzer - “back spasms” must mean literal scarab beetles crawling around under his skin and chewing on his muscles and tendons, a la 1999's The Mummy. 

If he’s anything like me, he doesn’t like being hugged because the feelings of emotional and physical proximity are simply overwhelming for him and it becomes a sort of sensory overload when there’s firm contact with another human being.

I always laugh when colleges or professional teams say “their investigative team” like they have Columbo locked in their closet and they let him out just for times like this.

I wonder if it will turn out more like Lay Lady Lay or Space Truckin’.

Jacob’s Ladder II: The Laddering

Spoiler alert: In an article about what happens in a movie, what happens in the movie will be discussed. If you do not wish to be exposed to what happens in the movie, do not read an article about what happens in the movie.

The bus actually isn’t that far off the main road, but you need a modicum of navigational and wilderness skills to reach it, not a misplaced sense of 19th century Romanticism.

Its all about knowing the language of the street.

Translation, if needed:

Also shouldn’t be allowed to think about 2026:  Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer.  

The point is going completely over your head. If Ty Burrell had a cameo in a Modern Family spinoff, would he get “standard guest star” pay? Hell no. If Keifer Sutherland guested on a 24 spinoff, would he get “standard guest star” pay? Fuck no. I would bet the farm they’d get a huge payday and nobody would bat an eye.…

numerous attorneys describe as only token pushback from Christopher Seeger, the New York–based co-lead class counsel

Not me, too athletic/fast. Walmart or Golden Corral Parking lots, tons of easy pickings.

I kind of wish he had a super heavy Minnesotan accent, and I also kind of wish when he killed Theon he would have looked right at the camera and had asked: “Cold enough for ya?”.

It’s just a language-barrier issue. The correct response is “AH FOOK OFF YER BLOODY COONT!”

That fucking “Boys Round Here” song is a crime against God and man.

Apparently you’ve never ridden a Canadian Greyhound.