I don’t understand why you won’t tell us.

You neglected to mention all the ones that meant I am not a daddy.

Do all of your recipes taste like beard?

Its funny that you mention that! In America, it’s the judiciary that determines what the punishment will be if some one violates the law; police officers don’t actually have the authority to execute people because they are irritated. It’s a confusing rule, and a lot of people really struggle with it!

How much inventory are you sitting on?

So Chris Sale is apparently really really really into kids. Got it.

It’s important to have opinions.

Oh fucking jesus christ.

this is the first TL;DR I’ve ever seen for a three line paragraph.

Good to see Rowan Atkinson doing so well

Thanks perfesser!

infeasible is a word?

International even!

Still laughing.

Have you ever thought about moving to the city?

It is an Alford plea, and 120 hours of community service is no joke, but I would still like to see him legally barred from kids and sports for five or ten years.

Why would they let him plea it out without admitting guilt? Why wouldn’t they make him agree to stop coaching? This was a gift- they had two witnesses against him and they let him plea no contest to a misdemeanor.

“Ever drink yourself INTO getting the flu? I went to my in-laws’ house for Thanksgiving and ate too much and drank too much. By the end of the night, I was already bloated and miserable. At 11 p.m., I booted a gallon of used stuffing into the toilet. By the next day, I was legitimately ill. Somehow I had parlayed a…

Who rioted?

No, this is Jim Tomsula’s dream for the after life.