That’s not really an apt comparison either. At a store you pay for the goods, not for someone to carry them to the car. When someone drives you, you’re paying them for that service.

I also doubt the White House is furnished with the IKEA Lack shelving unit.

Cue generic Texas big government joke.

I still don’t know what happened. At all. If I could have understood, I think I could have healed faster. But the fact that I just don’t know...ugh. I think it set me back months. Soon enough it will have been a year, and I still think about him every day. I don't want to. But I do. It's a sucky way to dump someone.

I’m Facebookable! I think everyone thinks the “Cynique” is some Francophile version of “cynic.” No, it’s just a fucking weird name.

Thanks, doll. You may have noticed there was an odd six month period where I seemed to vanish for Gawker. Now you know. I’m getting past it.

I've dipped my toe back into the dating pool. And more than dipped a toe into the banging pool. True love eludes me. But she will revisit me again.

A few things got me through: good wine, good friends, good music, and a good dog.

I was ghosted after a 5 year relationship. Five. No infidelity between us. One big blowup every 2 or 3 months. But I genuinely believed we were happy. We traveled together. Cooked together. Read together. Did the NYT crossword together. I have never been so happy with another person in my entire life. I bought a house…

She’s gonna lob more softballs in an hour than your average lesbian tosses in an entire lifetime.

I honestly think the 41 presidents who came before Clinton had worse records on gay rights. In that gays had no rights and weren’t even a part of the conversation.

It's been months since I had my bongos licked.

Honestly, go fuck yourself for shit talking a girl who admittedly came from a family and culture where education, manners, and breeding didn't seem to receive any special emphasis. Bristol's godawful mother ran for vice president and lost 6 years ago. Right now, off the top of your head: name another VP loser's…

I wish I shared your confidence.

I have to admit that it bothers me that he was blinded in the eye in which he was already losing his sight.

Too many of these stories turn out to be hoaxes. But my cynicism is such that I don't know if I believe this right now. I donated to the Kentucky fried chicken girl and I got burned by that. I signed a petition asking for leniency for the dad left his kid in the hot car. Gay waitress with the homophobic slur? Sent her…

If I'm talking to my mother, I go back and forth without even noticing, especially if I'm excited or arguing.

Well it's still an American network aimed at Latinos like myself who probably have proficiency in both languages.

The headline actually includes the word "rout." Obviously there's a million places online to find the score. But if you're going to discuss the score in the headline, then yes, I sort of expect the article to include the score.

You managed to get through this entire post without actually printing the score.