I’m sendin you to Jesus

I will kick you in the chest

The Chargers introducing their new logo was the branding equivalent of a guy asking his wife to try anal for the first time.

The worst are all the 20-year-old “bohemians” with dreadlocks who use their dogs to help them ask people for spare change.

Standard rule of thumb, the more weird and inappropriate places someone takes their pet to, the more staged Instagram pics they post, the shittier the owner.

I hate people that use pets as props.

Better question: Does it matter if it sucks?

Han Solo should not get an origin story. The entire reason you like him in the first movies is because you don’t really know what he’s about. He’s a mystery. Is he good, bad, whatever.

Fuck, for a minute there I thought you WERE describing Hillary.

he could face the scummiest, most vile opponent, who cheats to win in the most obvious ways and with outside interference, and the people will still refuse to support the Progressive Liberal.

Is that you, Progressive Liberal?

To the dude eyebanging the uneaten eggroll, how fucking bankrupt is the communication between you and your fiance that you can’t even ask about eating one of her appetizers? If you can’t communicate over food your marriage is fucking doomed.

We used to have a female husky that was a literal monster, destroyed a lot of stuff in her lifetime but nothing was worse than the ducks. She ate 6 baby ducks that were in a bathtub behind a closed door. Somehow opened the door and devoured them all, not even a feather was left when we found it.

You guys should resurrect the dog blog from gawker. You can call it Dogspin. You’re welcome.

Beagles, man. Any beagle or beagle mix is going to eat shit it shouldn’t. You just give up after a while.

I learned that glow stix are not toxic to animals in the Marine Corps. The things bored Marines would do with those things would shock people.

My dogs love crayons and my kids love leaving them everywhere. The bi-weekly backyard purge is often quite festive.

I had a Siberian Husky that would eat anything when she was teething as a puppy.

I know someone whose dog ate a hole in drywall as a pup but the damn dog can’t eaten wheat by-products.

There’s hope in a world where Michael Scott can provide the inspiration for Lebron James to own Draymond Green on the internet.