Ah, you’re one of those troglodytes.

Does he, really? He’s a good player, but juicing and lying and lying and juicing for years and his general icky behavior…well…he’s no Willie Mays.

Messi doesn’t dive, rarely complains, and he gets hacked just as much - if not more - than Ronaldo. And to say Ronaldo is that much better right now is just ludicrous - stats this season - Messi: 53 goals, 27 assists; Ronaldo: 54 goals, 21 assists (and Messi has outpaced him the last couple of months).

Throwing a woman to the ground (and showing her in extreme pain on the ground in the background) because she roots for another sports team is just bad comedy. The implied threat later is not pleasant to watch either, but hey, maybe I just don’t get how truly hilarious it is having grown up with domestic abuse. I’m not…

I also prefer watching Messi play. Their styles are so different, and both are excellent in their way… You see the effort Ronaldo puts in, and he wants you to see the effort - all the stepovers, the anguished falls, and so on. Messi’s effortless genius (which is a result of the same amount of work behind the scenes as…

Argentina is hardly Barca in terms of overall talent. I’m shocked they got to the final.

Here’s the difference - Ronaldo sulks and whines when another teammate scores, potentially preventing him from winning the scoring title. Messi gladly gives his teammate a penalty kick knowing he could lose scoring title by doing so. Who do I want on my team? Messi, by a mile.

All time leading scorer in Champions League. La Liga all time assist leader. All time leading scorer of Barcelona. He’s only what, 27?

A preening peacock only interested in his own glory. Great player, hell yes, but Messi is just…better.

He single handedly kept Bayern in the game until the 80th minute - a team who did not take one single shot on goal, so yes, he is one of the best keepers in the world.

Just like I always thought - Tom Brady likes soft balls. Not there’s anything and so on and so forth.

It wasn’t just the pass, it was the also 18 pass sequence leading up to it that was amazing. Dempsey and Martins have really developed a fascinating partnership.

When he was “on” he was one of the greatest gifts ever handed down by the soccer gods. When it happened you felt grateful to be able to witness skills you never quite thought possible… That goofy smile, the nonchalant grace and ineffable joy. I highly suggest taking a brief youtube journey into the delirious magic of…

Greg Louganis approves.

My favorite band who sing songs about a sport I dislike. Then again, I’m not sure who else fits that category...

I don’t mean to sound gruff, but that was really baaaaaaa-ad. I mean, that captain was on the horns of a dilemma...

This stupid farce that I had no interest in, and that everybody could predict ending exactly this way, fucked up my cable and all the shows I was recording for several hours. Goddamit.

BUT THIS WAS THE FIGHT OF THE CENTURY!!!!!

I'm not watching the fight, my cable has been messed up for a couple of hours.

This is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. It is mind boggling and perfect and hi-fucking-larious. It almost…ALMOST…makes me want to watch baseball.