When you can halt all of space and time with a simple hand gesture, becoming Governor of California frankly seems unimpressive, if not outright lazy. 

The fact that you hate rape doesn’t make you special, but the fact that you’re probably a psychopath might.

Most audiences are dumb.

It’s not a shocker that something from 1989 hasn’t aged great. It’s okay to think it wasn’t malicious and also think this is the right call.

Whoa, I kinda wanna try a top shelf Long Island now.

His love of authentic Mexican food is legendary.

If you feel there isn’t much going on with a bagel, go eat a Sara Lee bagel, that’s all you deserve. It’s just round bread, it’s not chewy or taut on the outside or flavorful in any way.

Kevin Draper had the correct take when he pointed out forget the toasting, what kind of crazy person orders extra cream cheese with the ludicrous amount that most bagel places put on the bagel? I love cream cheese, but I ask for light cream cheese and still end up scraping some off, usually.

Goddammit - whoever writes the headlines needs to understand phrasing.  I took this as yet another goodbye note, this time from Raph.

If you don’t already, put the cream in the cup first, then pour the coffee on top of it, it sort of froms an emulsion. 

If it were steroids, he’d be bigger.

In addition to the fraud benefits, there are a ton of rewards credit cards, basically you get free money (or other things) just for buying things. Yes, there’s the added risk of living beyond your means and getting into debt and for anyone unable to face that risk I agree that debit cards are safer, but for everyone…

I’ve used my card to pay for gas at the pump hundreds of times. The one time I had to dispute a charge on my credit card (for merchant issue, my card wasn’t compromised) it took less than an hour to resolve. I’m not sure if taking an extra couple of minutes on every fill-up is really worth anyone’s time, versus the…

...never use a debit card.  Good advice in all situations.

Umm... is Biden currently President?... No?

there is ABSOLUTELY NO CASE in which you will not be treated when treatment is medically necessary

You just described private health insurance. Only the corporate bureaucrat in question is personally financially incentivized to deny you coverage.

WeWork For You?

You know real problems are going down when Sara can keep her pants on for the time being.

I was hoping it was Ray, so I could sleep easier knowing he paid off the mortgage on the house his parents left him, that he grew up in. It’s been on my mind for 30 years...