I refuse to believe that there’s no difference to flossing before or after you brush. Maybe for someone with good healthy teeth, but for someone like me who’s mouth is more machine than man at this point, every little thing helps. And there’s just no way that a huge chunk of steak stuck between my molars doesn’t block…

I seriously almost just threw up in my mouth when I saw that Red Dog can. Totally forgot about that. Just bleary-eyed visions at the end of a college hall crawl...

Corona is not a great beer, but for some reason it’s the beer to me that tastes the best as it gets warmer. Like you’re at a BBQ or some other outdoor event, and even when the once-cold beer returns to room temp, it’s still pretty good.

When I was in college we had a party and someone actually brought Schlitz. The next day there was one can of beer left, a Schlitz. We put a piece of tape on it and labeled it “The Schlitz of Shame” for whoever was so desperate to have a beer, any beer, and would be willing to drink what was objectively the very worst…

Milwaukee’s BEAST is much, much worse than Natty Light.

Out of every member of the Bush Family, why is it that FUCKING BILLY BUSH is the only that anyone has any appetite for holding accountable for... fuck, not even his actions, more like his passive INACTION? If he could paint remedial watercolors of the scene on the bus with Trump would all be forgive like it is for W?

It’s so the next time some white person does something racists she can throw it to a segment of her own show showing blacks doing “racist” things too.

The biggest giveaway that this isn’t fake is that it says “To serve our country” and not “To serve you...”

My question is why is it folded print-side out?

Is it Assistant TO the President, or Assistant President?

So Mike Scott gets the “Tiffany Trump”-level of security detail in the Sixers hierarchy?

I was born and raised about 20 miles farther NW, and I also had no idea the “Philly accent” was a thing in well into adulthood. But after moving out west a few years ago, my ears automatically perk up every time I hear someone say “ice warder” or something.

It is not dumb.

“It’s not that birds are stupid or anything...It’s that they don’t know glass is a barrier, and they haven’t evolved to deal with artificial light at night.”

“And yet, they are accessories to bird murder.”

I love Taco Bell, but i think since they’re already stretching the definition of “meat” to its very breaking point, I actually think I might not notice if they replaced their ground beef with overly-cooked Impossible burger. Just stuff that shit in a Chalupa and I probably would never know.

Honsestly, Michael Shannon and Walton Goggins would be a HELL of a movie. Goggins in the Cage role, right?

Natalie Portman/Kiera Knightley

Can we get Margaret Cho as the only returning original castmember?

THE ROCK
VIN DIESEL