Interesting. I think for me it’s a syntactic thing — the hard Double Ds (lol) of “dead” have this implied exclamation point at the end.

It’s a simple curiosity question, Ombre. It’s okay.

This is the only right answer.

What’s the editorial guideline regarding headlines like this? ___ DEAD AT __ reads so sensational, to me. Why not ___, __, DIES?

And then, there’s my cousin’s pit mix, who begins shaking—actual full-body shuddering—in anticipation when a baguette is being sliced

Well, sort of. That poop emoji it gave you is an auto-suggestion. Sometimes, auto-suggest doesn’t include the emoji that approximates or even exactly matches the text entered. For instance, yesterday I typed “lightning bolt” and the only auto-suggestion was a rain cloud... even though there is an an actual lightning…

Hm. Are you confusing “presumptive nominee” with “presumptive president-elect?”

Shit’s heating up in the planner fandom.

If you need unproblematic planner goals, Amanda Rach Lee is your gal:

Sounds like a student loan.

I just replace it with “hater”. I find it usually underscores the point the performer was making with the original lyric, without all the mental hoop-jumping required to convince myself saying a word “inextricably linked with violence and brutality on black psyches and derogatory aspersions cast on black bodies” actual…

Honestly I can’t remember when I first heard it — it was either in therapy,

Not the same thing, but this reminds me of how Americans writ large have a hard time “speaking from I.” Any news broadcast with on-the-ground eyewitness statements is riddled with second-person pronouns. Journo: “What was it like to be in the burning building?” Eyewitness: “I mean, you just do your best to stay low,…

The youths have described him as Pete Davidson after a spa facial.

Nissan needs to pretend to give a shit about its OG EV buyers by making battery replacements for LEAFs more goddamn accessible.

I keep moving back in with old boyfriends and asking myself why I have decided to settle.

And open the floodgates of “put your money where your mouth is,” “stay in your lane,” “practice what you peach,” and on and on and on?

It annoys me to no end that people have to defend watching and being invested in vlogs. It just seems like the old contempt for blogs. Like, how dare someone decide their life or their hobbies are worthy of being shared — only publishers and studios can do that.

These whole-ass celebrity-ass dumbasses. My quarantine isn’t a state-mandated staycation, it’s working from home. Indeed, it’s working longer hours from home, because our company’s VPN sucks and is bogged down by tens of thousands of people using it, so I can’t get shit done. And I don’t have kids on the side! Holy…

Is it so wrong if we post twice? I’m gonna post twice.