I want to drive around with Brooklyn Beckham on my lap.

This has nothing to do with the price of eggs or Gary Busey’s breath.

I’d be good with just watching her sit in a restaurant, reading people’s eating habits.

There can’t be any greater hell than living and working on a ship for longer than 8 hours. You’re trapped on a boat with the vacationing masses and their distorted ideas about what constitutes “leisure”. I wouldn’t be thinking about sex. I would be too preoccupied fantasizing about the intricate details of torture…

I’m confused. I’m not well versed in matters concerning cruise ship employment but, why would it be the responsibility of the employer to provide personal items like birth control? Does it stop there or does that include deodorant, toothpaste, douche potions, toe nail clippers, jock itch powder, and lube?

Girl, calm down. That ground got broke while your daddy was still peeing his calm diggers.

Tattoos. So subversive!

a. I can’t with the fat, sweaty dry cleaner for another season.

More examples of the Geniuses For Trump phenomenon.

just can’t get past his weave.

I would recommend that none of these attractive thespians submit themselves to this kind of lighting. Your publicists are paid well to handle these kinds of details. Shame on you.

I feel bad for women who buy a $25,000 wedding dress off the rack that has a Final Sale/No Returns tag that they forget to try on. I have no pity for these ninnies. PS God is laughing at them.

Anhoni performing at the Oscars would be as ironic as Taylor Swift doing what she does at La Scala.

The Oscars manage to be fucking boring while at the same time, an embarrassing, cringeworthy, shit-show of desperate hollowness. It pretty much serves as a fashion show of dumbed-down couture, modeled by inherently styleless caricatures being wrangled by homely publicists. The show consists of writing and production…

I imagine we’ll be seeing even less diversity when casting ethnic roles once President Trump has the WH gold-leafed and has the perimeter of the US sealed. Get ready for Elle Fanning in the new “Selena” remake.

Garments constructed out of whole pieces create better lines. It also helps if you change into your PJs before bed. Just saying. PS She looks like she might be a giant pain the ass.

Uh, no. Dress making and body shaming is a popular sport and there are lots of thirsty fans.

You’re right. Guilty as charged.