There's already plenty of jokes in the room, you just can't see them because they're the ones pointing the cameras at Lynch.

Considering he said he would be willing to do an interview about this charity work, he is being very serious.

I don't blame the guy one bit for his standoff with the media. Sports reporters are fucking morons.

It's sort of creepy that the only thing that's going to save Lynch from having to deal with this same scenario over and over again is Groundhog Day.

How is this a story? Native American slurs are yelled and beer is dumped at literally every Washington D.C. professional football game.

They're doing an upside-down W for each win where someone was looking.

No word yet on how the LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLakers plan to approach Twitter.

Psh... JR puts up 55 every other night.

I'm just commenting here so I don't get fined.

I love that story. Last weekend my girlfriend and I were talking about famously taciturn people and I said "that reminds me of my favorite Calvin Coolidge story."

I think it's about what the profession has devolved into: a journalist whose work would suffer because a player won't answer questions during a staged press availability is one who is adding no value to the end product and whose job could be done just as well at a lower cost by a team's or league's PR office.

These questions are actually more thoughtful & interesting than the repetitive drivel that the sports reporters lazily lob at Marshawn. Have the whiny little shits considered putting two seconds of effort into doing THEIR job?

Lynch gave an earlier presser where he just said "I'm blessed" twenty-five times, but the reporters all mistook him for Russell Wilson.

I don't think you realize how large of a role journalists (even the dumb ones) play in the popularity of a sport.

Sensitive penises?

I'm sure glad that Deadspin doesn't fine unfunny clowns who hate writers.

I tried the same tactic while appearing at traffic court the other day.

This guy is the most popular interview in the NFL right now. Why do they want this to end?

My take-away from this article is that Mike Madson, Rob Demovsky, and Bart Hubbuch must be insufferable douches.

Belichick: I like a little puppet. You can kinda put your fingers in, it's a little monkey and then he can talk.