I wasn’t ready for this at all. This rant really came out of left field.

thats ducking fantastic.

Should I add extra blank sheets of paper for delays?

In its ongoing effort to get packages to consumers as quickly as possible skirt regulations, bankrupt industries and fuck over workers.

Also, Michael Jordan played his entire career with the flu. People forget that.

Michael Jordan never whined about cameras when he won those 20 straight NBA titles playing without any teammates and not making more than minimum wage.

Damn! Just when I'm all out of aloe.

I’m a Bernie Sanders guy too. I mean, I’m more of an Elizabeth Warren guy. I mean, I’m really a Jill Stein guy... but that’s sadly a long shot.

I think you’re misunderstanding this. The tape is for protecting your walls and baseboards should your vacuum bump into them. It’s not for trying to preserve the look of your vacuum cleaner...

If I’ve learned anything from sports, it’s that you can’t just deck women at home and expect to get away with it.

These Stand Your Ground laws have gone way too far.

That’s a really underhanded thing to do.

This cover is fantastic, but it is also somewhat sad to me. Just enjoy the fucking moment.

I assure you that fathering 34 children is abnormal even in black communities, if you can believe it.

In fifth grade we were assigned a cool exercise to invent a candy bar and then a marketing campaign for it. I loved the Mark Price bar, so I invented the “Kareemy Abdul Ja-Bar”, which if I remember correctly was a layer of Fluffernutter between two Rice Krispie treats, dipped in fudge and sprinkled with crushed M&Ms.…

Hey, people can die at any time. Celebrate getting a year older. It matters.

Player 1: Hey! Fuck that guy! Did you see him flip his bat!

I make fudge popsicles every morning.

10/10 would bang

Man, think of how much farther a DH would have hit that.