Hawaii??? Thank god it didn’t happen in the United States!

God, I wish I was a teacher in Atlanta. I’d be totally caught up on Game of Thrones by now.

Lennay is such a pretty name. You must be very happy.

I tell my friends I have a girlfriend, but she lives in Hawaii. Guess I’d better come up with a missile story too.

Lucky dude has a girlfriend to boot.

Here in Atlanta, we had school cancelled this past Monday because there was a chance of freezing rain.

You tora page out of the history books for that one.

That’s the best humblebrag I’ve read in years.

Live in Honolulu: girl friend stumbled out of the bathroom to ask if I got the alert. I told her I did, but not to worry. I’ve lived in Hawaii for about 25 years, you come to expect massive fuck ups. It’s part of the charm of our government.

It’s just a flight of B-17s coming in from California. Nothing to worry about....

The Army has a problem with the Golden Knights but they haven’t said shit about the Rangers.

Too legit. +1

we are not aware of a single complaint from anyone attending our games that they were expecting to see the parachute team and not a professional hockey game.

File this one under “things you should have probably sorted all the way out before launching a major league sports team”

Half of Chicago is now memorizing Mike Glennon’s full name and DOB, *fingers crossed* just in case.

Can he sue? He was cut b/c of his arrest which never occurred. That’s some fucked up shit right there.

Sgt. Perok told TMZ that the cops involved in bungling the arrest won’t be suspended since they acted in good faith, and that there won’t be an internal investigation.

Footage of this guy is the best ISIS recruiting video ever.

That’s not a beer belly you simpleton.