Holy shit great minds thing alike. :P

Because why vote for the lesser of two evils? 

As I often say, I’m mainlining bourbon for the foreseeable future.

“Every single time something like this happens, the president is typically one of the first people to condemn the violence...” 

Same. Michael never disappoints when it comes to turning a phrase, making a point or creating a riveting narrative. This was definitely no exception. Consider my heartstrings tugged.

It’s mentioned in one of my favorite Key and Peele sketches, too. 

I ran the numbers and it checks out.

*materializes behind u*

Right!?

I was in CVS a few days ago and found out that the heavily pregnant woman ringing me out was actually in the earliest stages of labor. Just what the hell, man.

That’s how I read it, too. 

That’s all EVERYTHING is about with him. This motherfucker has never said or done anything of substance.

That’s called a C-section.

To the troll in the greys: I’m undoubtedly a moron so points to you on that. Whether or not this suit is tossed out, the fact that all people I know who are really into guns collectively lost their shit over this story sustained me enough. I’m sure others are doing the same somewhere. If it’s one thing a RWNJs love,…

A White House official told the Post Trump...hasn’t used it during his many “executive” hours.

This line of argument (“girls can hit me, but I can’t hit them back, isn’t that so unfair”) bothers me so much.

Roving bands of violent teenage girls committing random attacks on quiet unassuming dudes is not a thing.

Trump’s “everything okay, please?” was so pathetic. He seemed more worried that the attack would pull focus away from his rally than about whether that cameraman was injured.

Pretty much. I’m mainlining bourbon for the foreseeable future.

I know I have to be hammered whenever I force myself to watch them. 

I remember listening with an avid sort of disgust when he promised at one of his campaign rallies that his supporters would get rich if he was president. It was such a naked lie, like a con that you would see a 2-bit villain pull in a kid’s show. And yet it worked.