I had a sensible chuckle. Michael definitely proved his status as a world-renowned wypipologist and I wish I could talk more about that, but all I can think of is this:

I like whiskey and brandy as well. Depends on what I’m eating/drinking/doing, honestly.

Pepperidge Farm remembers.

I once had a brief conversation with a flirtatious older man who believed that dinosaur fossils were placed there by God to test man’s faith. I shit you not.

Ahahahahahaha holy shit what

I have vivid memories of learning about “The Battle of Wounded Knee” in middle school. Not sure how they can call massacring unarmed men, women and children a battle, but y’know.  

Somewhere in suburbia there is a soccer mom that is absolutely livid that her “call authorities on all the minorities” schtick has been plagiarized. Permit Patties everywhere are unamused.

‘Cause they’re mine

Agree! Elephants are my favorite animal and it sucks because people automatically assume I’m a Repuglicunt.

SNL is...colluding with the Democrats and...Russia? WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK?

When you suck so bad you get banned by an entire country.

When it crawled onto his neck pouch

It’s worth less than nothing. It would have been better if he made no comment at all.

This is horrific and just illustrates how normalized hate speech against certain marginalized groups has become. Like, it’s weird how they called those spiders “Muslim” spiders. Obviously, arachnids have no concept of organized religion and therefore cannot be Muslim, but It’s obvious that the author of that headline…

Ugh. The reason that this rings so hollow is likely because a.) he’s as dumb as a box of hammers and b.) he doesn’t actually care about what happened or mean the things he says.

Based on other information I’ve seen, he did actually say that. I haven’t seen the video, but also his guns/gear/whatever are emblazoned with alt-right memes and his batshit manifesto was apparently laced with similar levels irony/in-jokes. There’s a weirdly performative aspect to this particular atrocity that’s…

On the one hand, Crown is delicious. On the other, you’re right. 

“And I’ll spend most of the time shouting over you to hide how badly I’m losing the argument.”

Lmao I wonder why

This was all I could think about while reading this article. Didn’t Shea do Naomi for Snatch Game? I’d  love to see the two of them in character together.