Son of a bitch! Which one of you fucking morons left Karl Rove in the dryer too long!?

Don't do business with A-Rod unless you know what urine for.

Reached for his take, Keith Olbermann replied, "I'm on the fence—I can't tell if he's trying to get fired or is just a miserable asshole to his coworkers. Either way, Bill Simmons is a goddamned genius."

For a radio show that is supposed to be as good as they are it was pretty bad

Meanwhile, Russillo compared SVP to Skip Bayless a little while ago and SVP was genuinely pissed.

But hey - I'm just a guy who can't evolve, right?

Tell me more about Notre Dame and what it was like when you played, Mike.

I hate being a Giants fan. Could be worse, though.

I'm partial to "Goddamnit, Donald!" myself.

Another non-story by the Boston media. If anything, he showed up super early for today's practice yesterday.

Whoa, I haven't seen a defender that far from his man since...oh, hey, James Harden, what are you doing here? Wow, hey, can I have an autograph? Oh wow, this is awesome! Hey, can I buy you a beer? Yeah, I know a great place right over on the next block, they've got NBA games on all the TVs, we might even be able to…

I've seen substitutes go much further. Kirk Cousins actually fucked his team.

Luckily for John, he'll always consider himself part of The Amazing Race.

hi its me Bill Simons. Yes I will write the sports stories. Thank you,

Didn't read the story, but I'm making a stupid pro Redskins name comment.

- Ignorant People

I like bacon just fine, and I really wish everyone would shut the fuck up about it. I don't need to hear about and see pictures of bacon everywhere, constantly. If you carry on about the wonders of bacon, I just assume you are a super boring person in all other aspects of life.

Is this the guy who Bill Simmons imitates by saying "yo dog" in a monotone deep voice or the guy who Bill Simmons imitates by speaking really quickly and incomprehensibly in a squeaky tone?

Am I the only nigga in the world who never found those Two dipshits even remotely amusing? People used to call my brother and I Kenan and Kel, and it irked the shit outta me. One, because I look way better than that goofy motherfucker; two, because I'm way, way fuckin funnier. I've never seen either of those two do…

That was brutally unfunny. And to think they went to all the trouble of getting the Sharpe suit look right, only to waste it on this. Satire without any edge is awful. Just awful.