The National Marbles Tournament Nobody Wants Has One Prize

Continuing the up/down theme, Porcello’s better when he keeps a low profile and uses his sinker.

Democrats need to hire a witch doctor to spook Trump. Then see how he further incriminates himself in response.

You seem to be overlooking that if they play with two basketballs, Chris Paul and James Harden can both have the ball at the same time.

What was Joe Maddon doing during all this? Hanging up Time covers of Donald Trump in the locker room?

Given his height, couldn’t Bob Costas have done some undercover investigating and gotten into the USA Gymnastics facilities? Advertisers should be asking how all that money they paid NBC was being spent.

Being a philosophy major means that Alex Trebek would probably be awesome at jeopardy. Collecting trivia and useless information is what philosophy majors do. You know what philosophy means in Greek? The love of knowledge. See how useless that fact is?

When the Jaguars need to renegotiate contracts down, Coughlin’s going to tell players to eat at restaurants that have early bird dinner specials.

Man, that’s gotta be a long flight. Make sure to stay in the Bay Area until winter’s over back home, like July or so.

If scapegoating Grayson Allen and kicking him off the team would be wrong, what’s the point anymore of being right?

“I have a tv show on Sports Illustrated.” Um, I think Sports Illustrated is a magazine. That’s like saying I have dinner reservations at the Post Office.

Looking back 4 years from now, some businesses being open on Christmas and some people working that day will be the least of our problems. Happy New Year 2017

There should be a team named the LA Banditos. Not much worse than that cross-eyed guy on the Raiders logo.

Hey, it’s a warning man. Where da hoes at - just want you hoes to know, don’t fuck this guy.

Staten Island has the craziest people in NYC. There’s something in the water, and it might have to do with lead plumbing.

Man, Jose Bautista must be ticked off by this. He’ll probably make some gesture the next time he hits a home run at Camden Yards.

If Trump thinks Pakistan is so fantastic, why doesn’t he take Mike Pence with him and move to Peshawar.

You would think a psychologist wouldn’t fold so easily.

That fake punt was amazing. How do you even throw a pass 15 yards downfield like that? - Boston College

Wonder where federal workers will post stories for crazy stuff they’re asked to do after inauguration.