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When Brees retires, Jesus will return and absolve the Saints’ dead cap money. Once Roger Goodell starts sprouting horns, we’ll know the time is close.

First it was Mike Singletary bringing mental illness to people’s attention, and then Jim Tomsula raising awareness for the homeless. Good job by Colin keeping the 49ers socially conscious.

Economic development has changed Revis Island into an offshore tax shelter for his bank account, courtesy of Jets’ fans discretionary income.

Gosh, God bless. I hope she can turn her life around. You know, like find a team to root for other than the Jaguars.

Trevor Siemian was fine and the Denver defense probably won’t be fined, so success on both fronts.

The oceanfront? Virginia? So odd that Terry McAuliffe openly deceives people into thinking Virginia is Miami Beach when there’s only a tiny stretch of coast 3 hours from DC.

The caller said he hoped the Redskins would give him merchandise, and I'm sure they did. I just wonder if it was any more than 5% off regular retail prices.

Man, I've got stuff to do. We've all got stuff to do. Who has the time and ability to stop what they're doing and correct Tomi Lahren's ignorance? Where would you even start? This is depressing. I just don't have the time for this.

One of the few downsides to visiting Hawaii is that it’s riddled with Seahawks fans.

The NFL is a lawless league under this CBA and the Peter Kings of the world should be discussing only that until it gets corrected. This commissioner is less legitimate than Russian rule in the Crimea.

This is a parody of a New York hipster football article.

On the other hand, one of the few Trump endorsers:

As a BC grad whose baby’s due date is October 7, experienced enough as a gambler now to not take it as a lucky sign, but instead be relieved not to watch the 40+ point blowout.

On the plus side, Geno Smith’s proximity awareness and peripheral vision have improved greatly.

Mark Twain.

It’s not a brand, but ordering chicken fingers at a pub pays handsome rewards, especially if you can order dips other than honey mustard.

Affirmed. Happy trails, Kenny Mayne.

Would be great if the loss of subscribers had anything to do with a ratings bubble caused by First Take.

NFL fans should no longer recognize Roger Goodell as a legitimate commissioner.

The first thing Baylor did to hide the scandal was to locate it in Waco, Texas.