Just checking in to make sure this wasn’t Ted Cruz. Carry on.

Fairly certain that they show this on Jimmy Fallon every night.

This is why I don’t order the lingonberries topping.

Is he saying the McDonald’s breakfast bowls and Burger King hot dogs are stale? I’d believe that.

Can we get a consensus that Roger Goodell no longer has any legitimacy as commissioner? I’ll go to Home Depot and find some pitchforks to hand out at Park Avenue.

I’m guessing he’s articulating something about professional athletes and soldiers both coming from economically disadvantaged (or even middle class) backgrounds. But I have donkey brains too, so what do I know?

I know guys don’t use the word gross often, but Mathis is starting to get there.

Amendola isn’t certain to return, but his clone might be ready by training camp.

What country am I living in? Is this still the United States? I thought 14 year olds in this country attended high school. And I assumed full-time clubhouse attendants were at least 18.

Give me sports content on Deadspin, please? I guess we all have our suggestions.

If ESPN ever fires Curt Schilling, it will only be to hire Goose Gossage for having a fresher “take” on current sports.

Wait, after the whistle, why is Drake allowed to walk around on the court? What’s going on in Toronto?

Robert Griffin III going to Cleveland would shorten his lifespan by about 5 years, compounded with the stress from his time in DC.

It will be like an amusement park - amusing to see them try to get tens of thousands of people across those tiny bridges before and after the game.

Controlling the puck in the NHL isn’t necessarily easy. Though I wouldn’t be able to stand on skates for 30 seconds, never mind handle a puck and keep it away from a defender.

This is the smartest thing I’ve ever read from a Jets fan. On the plus side it looks like your team’s heading in a better direction.

With Bill O’Brien’s ability to develop quarterbacks, who needs the ability to develop quarterbacks?

The Browns will cut Johnny Manziel when...hey, how about one more round?

The War of Robert Griffin III will get a Smithsonian museum before the Civil War does.

If you like poundings, kid, John Farrell’s ready to give your mom a pounding.