You shut your mouth, how can you say, I go about setting screens the wrong way?

In Back to the Future IV, Doc and Marty go to the year 2015 to stop Maria Sharapova from eating up all the meldonium.

Upcoming tweets:

This is what they do with Vanna White. They replace Vanna White every 5 years and give the new actress the same name.

Quick, someone pass Rick Reilly a basketball coated in anthrax.

If you could kill someone and not get caught, would you?

Donald Trump would have aced these questions, so what’s the big deal?

To make matters worse, the Barclays Center is a rusty ship.

This fool is not worthy of dining at the Common Man.

I don’t care as long as he’s switched to PEB’s, performance enhancing burritos.

Joey, those fans aren’t there to see you play basketball, they’re there to avoid frostbite.

That journaldemontreal.com column in French was terrible, totally unreadable.

Woj’s site should have been named The Vertigo.

Rest in peace, Nick Punto. Too young.

I think the straw lady did all of that store’s delivery customers a good deed.

Ooooh, he gets to ride in a van. I want to ride in a van.

It’s looking like there’s a better chance of the Bruins getting Subban than the Celtics making any big moves today.

This is a disgusting crime. It should be punished almost as harshly as if a booster paid for a player’s lunch at a Chik-Fil-A.

If I had missed out my whole life on what good cold pizza tastes like, I guess I’d be grouchy too.

Going to Yankees games is getting to be oppressive. The ticket costs, the crowded trains, the lines, the poor choice of beers. Feels like the customers should be getting paid to show up.