I hope my fall guy reads this, so that he knows what he’s doing when he offers bribes.

I tried something like this, but Marte never did tell me where the library was.

Should’ve been you, Jay Cutler. Good luck to the Kramer family.

I don’t know if drafting this early is a crime, but it could result in a 10 game suspension.

In my NCAA Football ‘14, West Virginia’s been booted and replaced with BYU, Colorado State and Houston. But then, I guess we’re all not qualified to be Big 12 commissioners.

+10.

They would’ve been better off hiring Mike Singletary to coach the team again.

Rubio, picking up the spare.

Most Dolphins fans would agree with the idea that the Dolphins could be 2 to 3 wins better this year with 85 year old Don Shula as coach in place of Joe Philbin.

Geez, there really are a lot of commas in these Draper posts.

What was the high point for Chargers fans in the last 30 years? The Marty Schottenheimer era, or when they got obliterated by the 49ers in the Super Bowl?

Now that the Mets are competing, it’s a whole different league.

I think only a minority of readers could sympathize with this essay, like if a Knicks fan wrote that one of these days James Dolan is going to prove all the doubters that they were wrong.

“What are those????” is going to be Michael Jordan’s comeback the next time he gets offered a million first rounders for Frank Kaminky’s draft slot.

That’s cool. The original comment was a Big Lebowski quote.

You don’t go out looking for jobs like that, do you? On a weekday?

If there continues to be a St. Louis NFL team, they should be named the Cardinals. Let Arizona name their team after some reptile or dragon or something meth-oriented. Does St. Louis even have rams? How about the St. Louis Goats, or Donkeys.

Hey, another entry in Burneko’s Things That Suck series. Fun reading.

“Hey Mort, we got a call from the NFL league office about this interview, and we’re going to need you back on the mother ship.”

Between this and the “look up, cheaters” plane, I would say yesterday was the Jets’ Super Bowl.