“So, follow-up question, blink once if you guys want to respond later, and blink twice if you are being held hostage at this moment.”

“But it’s time for the Phillies to you-know-what or get off the pot.”

Papelbon wants to be traded to a winning team that has its act together. The kind of team that would never give a loudmouth, over-the-hill relief pitcher a $50 million, 4 year contract.

- Alright, let me go over this again. You are a convicted criminal, living alone in an apartment with a bobcat. And you work 56 hours a week as a street performer.

I wish I could relate. But the leather seats in my Mercedes are so comfortable. -David Brooks

What’s the difference between a titan and a giant anyway?

Sweet, Me7o came up with that nickname himself. What’s uncool about that?!

You can visit Tampa and get cheap Buccaneers tickets. But you might get in a car accident, Bucs fans might initiate an altercation with you, or you could catch a disease.

It helps to fail the integrity check and “fit and proper person” test if you want to be hired.

DeBrusk’s been watching footage from the Bruins’ 2014-15 season, when they had the rule “no scoring goals when facing the net.”

Man, the Cardinals don’t mess around with OTAs.

Whoever the anonymous source was for this sounds like they don’t have much work experience. Grantland’s going to change. It’s going to be put on lockdown by ESPN. And you’re best off looking for new work and playing up your unique experience at Grantland during job interviews.

In the AFC South:

My god, I hope he doesn’t have the noises stuck in his head.

Cows are asking, why didn’t we think of these collusion charges for hundreds of years?

Laugh now, but the necessary improvements to that arena are going to come out of taxpayers’ pockets.

It’s not just one person you’re letting down, Ned Yost.

Cowherd started the interview in the middle of a rant, without an introduction, and Harbaugh checked out. Seemed like Harbaugh was saying, no soup for you.

“It was a slap in the face, coming off one of my best seasons in the NFL”

The bat was not wearing camouflage, but looked hidden nonetheless.