Next the Diamondbacks are going to make them trade names.

One cool thing about the Phillies' stadium is that you can confuse a piece of trash for a baseball bouncing off a centerfielder's glove.

Don't say Jason Whitlock is coming out of left field today, because you'll be bombarded with defensive twitlocks.

"I haven't been able to reach my bookie the last two days. I gave that son of a bitch $500, on the Expos."

Michael Morse got the starting outfield job as result of Facebook's "people you may know" feature.

Also:

Confused by when Riggings calls Dan Snyder the BM of the NFL - billionaire midget?

- What do Quantum Leap and Chris Russo have in common?

Not sure, but they will be able to record videographers falling out of the lifts, and at what time.

Hey look, I can see 5 wins and 7 losses.

I'd believe it if NFL players gave out email addresses with the wrong last name, given the concussions and all.

Sure we'll pay you Girardi - our next 15 years of revenues go directly to Oprah, but you should receive a check in 2026.

Hey, by Staten Island education standards, this is progress.

This kind of outreach should put a dent in elderly drunk driving statistics.

Florida's way more progressive than BYU - athletes don't even need consent.

In the next episode, Schlereth learns to breathe through his nose.

We know you're behind, Canadians, but you should have a grasp of radio by now.

Guess we're going to overtime. -Big East refs

You can take that to the bank, thanks to a little thing I like to call "Madoff." Hey, what the hell? The bank has disappeared.

True, even the NFL doesn't have as many fans as the NBA worldwise.