Either Danny's ex-girlfriends have received similar emails post-breakup, or Danny's intense focus on Bill Simmons has precluded the existence of them in the first place.

Jacksonville Jaguars' attendance levels are near sellout every week, and I've got the late 1990's photos to prove it.

It sounds like if you're an ESPN employee, you're compelled to report inappropriate behavior to management so that it can be squashed. And by squashed, that means putting the whistleblower in a dark room to be sat on by Chris Berman until suffocated.

Yeah, but did he get Mariotti's autograph?

"And if your business is news, then trust is a must."

You know, I've always said the best way to start a car is to insert the key into the ignition, and turn the key.

Jere Longman's getting a Pulitzer for that one, that was some sharp writing there.

Andrea Kremer has been to the future, and she has brought back zippers. #larrybird

I want to scout more, watch more film...draft more players who will never play for our team #minnesotatimberwolves

How much do I have to pay not to hear this? #timmccarver

And don't forget, you've got to walk the kids twice a day, and leave out a bowl of food. #fksfridays

And in the end, Lloyd Braun became more like you. #johnwetteland

Does this mean I have to take down my Captain Morgan fathead #advertising

So I take it Kasher doesn't read the sports section #stephenasmith

I don't blame Tyson - Ashton Kutcher had this coming. #miketyson

So for one day, he was not on the Zoloft to keep from killing y'all. #miketyson

¡Es el Bromista! #sammysosa

Normally when floats drive past Wall Street, they carry federal government officials handing out bags of money. #haterade

In defense of Red Sox fans, watching Pedro pitch vs. the Yankees is way more compelling than watching A-Rod play grabass with his teammates. #worldseries

Nailed In The Face Jones has a nice ring to it. #dallasmavericks