This is like that time Tennessee tried to secede from the union, and got penalized for breaking the federal government's rules.

@ZombieGhostsoftheSCUpcountry: Only one? I would think ex-GM's are highlighting "incompetent failure" on their resume when submitting it to ESPN.

So the Bill Simmons book is only going to be read in New Jersey?

@McCroskey: Thunder is the first superhero who regularly looks forward to the NBA draft.

You want color? Maybe they should bring back Stephen A. Smith and make him the NBA play-by-play guy.

Yeah, I can't believe it's two whole months until NFL preseason either.

Parking and autograph signing seem like they should be separate issues, unless Doc Gooden's parking your car.

Reading Twitter is how I got tricked into buying an SF Giants Manny Ramirez jersey a few months ago.

How many arrests are Florida players allowed before they're kicked off the team? 3? 5?

@TheOnlyNetsFan: The entire state of New Jersey is a toilet, but I never took it that literally.

Why would anyone shake hands with a gate?

I don't know why I clicked on the video for a Duke advertisement, but Linda Cohn's eyes bugging out when she said Zamboni might give me nightmares.

This is a Deadspin feature I can get behind.

In that picture the ump looks like he's picking random fans in the stands to eject.

You know who was a great quarterback? Billy "The Gun" Van Goff.

"Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?"

I can only assume it's the Mayor of Orlando.

Eye steak is one of the Chinese entrees I avoid.

There is something sports-related here, maybe. The moral of the story, as always, is that people shouldn't root for the Cubs.

Her decision restored free agency, but it also specified the Steinbrenners didn't have to give A-Rod $33 million per season when his contract was up for renewal.