And Australian rugby players continue to give New Zealanders a bad name.

Delaware: Soon to be the perfect place to bet against the Eagles.

At least the Yankees know who will fill the void that has existed since Sidney Ponson left the team.

He looks like he has frostbite - they must have made him stay in the cabin from Rocky IV.

-Somebody needs to stick Bob Ryan's face in a boiling pot of water for five minutes.

Maybe instead of trying to kill himself, Buffalo will instill in Terrell Owens a grim resignation to a lifetime of unhappiness.

4. Updating your Facebook account to communicate your support for the Eagles' secondary.

A-Rod's a short guy in an orange bodysuit?

When you call for room service, then forget about it and leave your suite, there's a good chance they'll be waiting in the hallway when you return.

@alftime: Great suc-cess

Any fantasy baseball leagues have use for a transplanted East Coast native who now lives in the Bay Area? I've been reading and commenting on Deadspin for a couple of years, but I'm not really an insider. My commenter name was originally FThat - I was at least 21% funnier back then. Anyway, I follow baseball closely…

What the hell is that? A Colorado resort for people with freakish tans?

But on the plus side, the hot dog stands will be offering 100% rat meat.

Reportedly this will be one of the Milk dvd's deleted scenes.

Shaq, the analogy you're looking for there is: MacGruber.

First he starts dating a 60 year old, then he gets a bum hip, next he'll be getting a retirement home at Del Boca Vista.

When Warner's agent suggested the 49ers offer 23 million carrots, Mike Singletary thought they were actual carrots.

Had a black man yelled at the last president from two rows behind him, he'd be getting dunked in a tub in Syria right now.

NFL players are supposed to shoot other people with unregistered weapons, not themselves.

They shouldn't have appointed Bernie Madoff to head the Rutgers bowl committee.