Nobody tells Chris Berman to stand in line.

Roethlisberger's like the kid who didn't expect to get called on in class and has no fucking idea what to do.

A 6 point lead isn't good enough, Pittsburgh.

Can we blame the economic crisis on the ETrade baby?

@What Would Kornheiser Do?: Segways are loud enough as it is.

Are Keith Olbermann and Tiki Barber going to interview the Gatorade bottles on their desk?

Suzyn Waldman also got the same treatment on days Roger was pitching.

If only there were ways to generate more revenue - like an ESPN cell phone, or credit card.

This guy is either gonna think 'Here's another kid with a fake ID' or 'Here's McHugh, a 25 year-old Hawaiian organ donor'. Okay? So what's it gonna be?

@Pesti-Esti: "I'm not in Canada?"

@friendslikeJimRome: I wrote once that if he wanted to be 100% negative he should go to the Providence Journal and be Jim Donaldson's protege, but that's too obscure.

He also remembers bringing Wade Boggs fried chicken before games, with Boggs asking for "extra herbs and spices".

@ClintonPortishead: +1 for the Mystery Elephant.

In order to see the "man walks onto court during friars game" tag again, some Deadspin reader is going to have to view it as a call to action.

Jesus, it's like none of you guys have ever conducted a one-on-one interview before. Jesus!

"Plumbing new depths of personal humiliation for the sake of a journalism career" is also on Charles Gibson's resume, under "Good Morning America".

About three Simmons mailbags a year with hand-picked and Simmons-rewritten emails sounds about right for an ESPN feedback and transparency system.

So you can still comment here [myespn.go.com] , it's just that no one but the underground will be able to see it.

The girl on the right is making the "Falling out of the ugly tree and hitting every branch on the way down" face.

Is that a zoo, or is some Pittsburgh diner working on a bear sandwich topped with fries?