Why was a 12 year old boy out with his parents at 3:30am?

Nope. Best practices for suicide reporting recommend not using “committed,” which sounds like a crime or, to religious communities, like a sin, and “kill yourself” is just insensitive, crude, and poorly phrased. “Died by suicide” is the phrasing recommended by mental health professionals and the American Foundation…

SCIENCE!

He started the night facing away from her, but then turned over 13 times.

Hooray! I can’t wait to save-cheat my team to victory!

Of course, he really should be redirecting people to the appropriate email:

Mindy Kaling’s book was bad.

Back when I was a regular old Budweiser/Natty Lite drinking college dude, I was on a cruise and ordered a “Draught” Guinness, which I pronounced phonetically (i.e. aught not aft). The waitress asked if meant draft, and I started to correct her before I realized what an idiot I am.

I had a spacey friend in high school who had gone to an Italian restaurant and been served bread and olive oil for the first time. She became obsessed with it, and one night we were at another friends house and she came down the stairs eating the very same concoction, or so we thought. Upon entering the kitchen, I…

Once at my cousin’s wedding, after a few beers during the cocktail hour, I made my way over to a bowl of what I thought were Wasabi peanuts. After popping a couple in my mouth, I realized it was a bowl for Olive pits. Awesome. Killed all the germs with copious amounts of alcohol.

Many truth tellers have been persecuted in this manner!

|joke|~~~~~~~~~~>|you|

Tennessee BOURBON. Get it right.

I had a woman request a new glass of ice water, because, and I can’t make this up, “her ice water was watered down.”

Write. Redskins number won dumb fans irregardless that sum of best school systems is in DC area (Montgumery County, Arlington, etc.). Yet Detroit, witch has no money, is more good? Oakland has black whole and they are smarter? Bengals fans eat poo chili and make less mistakes online? Know, I don’t think so. List is…

Of course the Redskins fans have trouble spelling. Even just speaking about their team it comes out slurred.

All of these people bitching can go get fucked. Every drink recipe ever should have a tussin reference; this is a perfect thing.

If you do not realize the opportunity you has infront of you to play for Coach K

“Restaurant food was decent but I had to provide my own bread and wine. The next day I was nailed to a plank of wood and died. Would not recommend.”

Me too but what to eat?