Nobody ever bothered actually running against him, because no need to do so ever materialized. First read that sentence as “nobody ever bothered actually running against him, because he never materialized.” In a sense, equally accurate.

You are one bold sonofabitch.

Came to with my brother carrying me out of the house to lay on the lawn and my mom doing the same to the dog.

definitely smelled toast for a minute there

This is the shiftiest thing he’s ever done.

/considers

Besides, you’re about telling, not spelling.

Somewhere, a Punch & Judy show is missing its vocalist.

Anyway, we’re out on the deck enjoying drinks on a sunny night

Ma’am, America itself didn’t get it right the first time.

Wait, HOW outrageous is it?

Jesus fuck, that really happened, didn’t it? I had forgotten, or suppressed it.

I love everything about this. I am seriously going to knock off now because today is absolutely complete.

Quite so. Mark Ryans is an able British character actor, while Mark Rylance is GODDAMN AWESOME.

“Holy shit - that motherfucker can read?” - the Deadspin commentariat.

That is a horrific parade of misfortunes, the first and foremost of which is that it takes place at Dulles. Good luck out there.

Leave gin out of this. The rest of what you said is accurate and, considered logically and in good faith, essentially inarguable.

It’s impressive that in a story about machinations, Woj used the word only once and did so incorrectly. Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink.

I’m beginning to suspect that we’re overemphasizing object permanence in early childhood development, to the point that we’re raising generations of people who not only understand that objects continue to exist when we cannot sense them, but seem to believe that those same objects must exist in the exact same state…

I highly recommend it. I also highly recommend having an adult present while you watch. For the purposes of this viewing, you do not count as an adult, or at least you won’t by the end. I certainly didn’t.