Fuck!

how the fuck is Kid Rock the least trashy person in that photo?

The bar is so low, I’m just glad they didn’t wear blackface in front of Michelle’s portrait.

It’s like the Wonder Twins if the Wonder Twins were three assholes!

Might I make a suggestion? From now on, call them the radical right-wing. It’s time we called a spade a spade: these are not just any right-wing groups. They are erasing the line between church and state, they are choosing ideology over science and reason, and they are establishing the corporate class as feudal lords…

It’s remarkable that I now immediately equate words like “church”, “faith”, “bible”, and “christian” with absolute evil. That’s some solid work, folks.

Everyone knows jet fuel can’t melt a Lombardi Trophy.

Plus a human sacrifice on the solstice. That sun doesn’t come back until it sees blood on the snow.

Uh....there’s two tables in the top one and two footballs and only one table and one football in the bottom. And the bottom one’s football seems to have a white panel on it. The bushes aren’t doing as well in the bottom one. There’s a jersey in the bottom one. Kraft has a handkerchief in the bottom one. Jesus, this is…

Is ‘Spring’TM Internet-enabled? If not, I don’t want to know.

At last, an owner predisposed to accept 4th or 5th place.

The man’s a basilisk, so no fucking way.

13/14 year old me had such a huge crush on Monica Lewinsky.

Hmmm....I’d like to get in on the ground floor of this “spring,” idea. Would $100k be an acceptable investment?

This would be more like if Keurig came with the following instructions:

“And let’s keep it that way.”

Would you want him at home?

The device Evans spent three years laboring to invent is a $400 WiFi-enabled tabletop machine that squeezes juice ... out of a bag of Juicero-brand juice. It squeezes bags of juice.

The device Evans spent three years laboring to invent is a $400 WiFi-enabled tabletop machine that squeezes juice ... out of a bag of Juicero-brand juice. It squeezes bags of juice. It is a juice press that squeezes the juice ... out of bags of juice. Bags ... with built-in spouts ... that are filled with juice. Juice…

Betsy, you minx. You know Jesus tamed the dinos. We have pictures.