In grad school I would scoff at Hobbes. Now, as I survey the landscape that is my country, I regretfully apologize to his memory.

Yeah, this is one of those cases where, even as you admit that no, not everything’s a metaphor or a microcosm of some larger zeitgeist . . . this is pretty much a metaphor or microcosm for a larger zeitgeist.

It also looks like there’s chocolate syrup dried in there.

There has been a push from folks downstate wanting to push Chicago out of Illinois. Let it become its own blue state so that the Children of the Corn can have their own version of Indiana. So of course there have been studies in to tax revenue, job growth, etc. and everything shows that Illinois needs Chicago way more…

This is not a Santa beard. This is the look of a homeless man who was taken off the streets and cleaned up to stand behind the city council while they have a press conference extolling the virtues of their “labor-for-soup” program.

I love it when maga chuds complain about  blue states. “Look at them, with their nice places to live, decent infrastructure, jobs, everyone just seems to be having such a good time! fuck them that they have it better off than us, better be sure and vote for ignorance and hate over and over again”

It’s kind-of sweet to see the last great Stanford QB drafted by the Colts so broken-hearted over the most-recent one.

Man, even the Broncos are Elway is crying.

See I would have come up with two other words; Red State. 

I respect your commitment to big boy accuracy

It’s ok, Indiana will pull itself up by its bootstraps any decade now. Republican-style!!!

I’m so excited to have a new brain genius in profession sports. Like, Kyrie just got served. 

but as long as minorities are worse off and their reps are praisin’ Jaysus these idiots don’t care that their state is dying. 

The Luck decision is one of those examples, as has been now widely discussed, about how much getting that correct coach at the beginning of a QB career is crucial. Especially since when you are young, you think you can endure so much more before then the body starts reminding you that no you really can’t.

You have 3 buildings that meet the measurements required to be labeled a skyscraper.  I researched this to make sure of the accuracy, because last time I drove through I thought I saw 4 tall buildings, but only 3 are big boys.  

About 98% of us hate the 2% that booed him. They can fuck off to Philly or something.  But sir, we have AT LEAST...*looks around and counts*...5 tall buildings downtown. We’re not Akron, or something.

As much as I want Jacoby to succeed ( former Patriots QB, after all ), seeing those tweets has made me believe that Indiana has already ruined him, and by the end of the season he’ll be the league’s first QB with Alzheimer’s. 

The residents of this 3 building having, 4 block fucking town screamed and booed at someone who, until that point, seemed to be one of the least booable people in the entire league. The guy that was set up to be hurt by men who were unqualified to build a team around him. It’s a shame and a relief that it came to this.

Not afflicted with the small bone?  Nick Foles. 

Andrew Luck 2012: *Takes a sack* Great job, man. Insane hustle. You really got me.

Andrew Luck 2019: You even just look at the ceiling and wish you could stop existing? Like, not die, but just POOF and cease being altogether. Maybe it’s nothing but motionless, soundless black. Complete emptiness. Nothingness. But it’s…