In the movie Cast Away, Tom Hanks spends four years on an island....alone. When he returns to civilization, his estranged wife notes “We got a football team now.”

The most damning thing I can think of about the Titans is that, on any Sporcle quiz in which you need to identify NFL teams, the Titans are always the least-guessed.

Hunter, Conner, and Keighleay, and two years of community college, at most.

I love how the Lions aren’t even in the conversation.

Annual contributions:

Anything outside the 494/694 loop is Tom Emmer / Michele Bachmann / There Be Dragons territory.

I’m 100% certain the Browns will win a Super Bowl before the Vikings.

I also came to comment about Sam. God. Damn. My dad and I don’t talk a ton, but when we do it’s usually to rag on the Lions. I’m going to be a little more appreciative of our lot in life going forward. Perspective is a motherfucker...

I was born and raised in MN, went to college at the University of Minnesota, and lived for years in the NW suburbs. Jeffrey: You fucking nailed it, man. 

How about that, having a front row seat to every failure? I’ve heard Paul Allen interviewed and he sounds like the kind of guy you’d want to hang out with, but if I was him and developed an affinity for the team I do the calls for, I’d probably have hung myself a long time ago.

Which do you think will get posted first next year, the 2020 WYTS for WAS or MIN?

Your options to replace Kirk Cousins last year were Alex Smith (imported by the GM; unwanted by the head coach), Colt McCoy (insurance card not included), and the smashed up Pepperidge Farm Cookie Sampler Box that came after the two of…

When he retired in 1978, there was a very good argument to be made that Fran Tarkenton was the greatest QB of all time. He was (at the time) the all-time leader in passing yards, completions, TDs, and fourth quarter comebacks. He had the most rushing yards and rushing TDs of any QB ever. The Vikings still never won a…

Well if that’s not proof that QBR is an extremely important and useful statistic, I don’t know what is. 

I live in Ham Lake, and this is a terrifyingly accurate take. The volume of cul-du-sac cowboys in these here parts is mystifying. Congrats on your 12 trucks and zero retirement savings you corn cobs.

Yeah.  That was one hell of a downer to end on.  Hope you’re feeling ok today Sam.

“-Randy and Tammy, MAGA turds from the northern suburbs who have a pickup truck value that exceeds their home value and took money out of Braedyn and Kymlynn’s college fund to renew their season tickets but “aren’t sure” if they’re going to still support the NFL if players keep kneeling”

My dad predicted the Gary Anderson miss, and gloated in our sad faces when it came true. Told us to never trust “those bums.”

Kirk takes are going to be WYTS gold until whichever turnstile replaces Mike Remmers lets Khalil Mack through directly to Cousins’ tibia and fibula, leaving nothing behind but a brown streak made of mostly raw beef and $60 million dead money against the Vikings’ cap.

Bryan’s story is basically the plot of Angels in the Outfield, except instead of the Angels he has the shitty Vikings and his dad is never coming back.

LOL KIRK