Get a load of moneybags here, with his toaster and fresh tomato.

The Jags are the Giants’ “white trash beach town outlet store”.

“Mitch Trubisky can’t throw a ball through a fucking tire.”

My parents moved to Tampa when I was in college in Iowa, so, not having a team, I shrugged and adopted the Bucs. At the time I didn’t watch football and it was pre-internet, so they were just a team that showed up on TV a few times a year because we were in NFC Central territory, and they tended to rotate between…

The Bucs suck so blandly they aren’t even the worst run pirate-themed NFL team to have hired Jon Gruden.

Speaking of people who have had rough times in Florida, they traded for Jason Pierre-Paul.

“Also, the Lightning choked.”

I can hardly wait the next big article in two months about how much good old Jameis has grown and shown maturity in his role.

This ad legit confused me for a second...

I remember when I first saw Fitzpatrick in that outfit I couldn’t figure out why Connor McGregor was giving a press conference for the Bucs

No, Mike, you can’t. But you also don’t have to turn your locker room into goddamned Arkham, either.

Yeah, other WYTS columns include jokes; this one is just a list of facts.

Sometimes I read these and think “Wow, Magary’s really funny. He made all these jokes and exaggerations about the Ravens/Bears/Seahawks/Whoever. He’s so clever, that Drew. Ha ha ha ... so, so funny. Deadspin is really lucky to have him. Guffaw”

Whatever you’re paying that graphics guy, it’s not enough. 

Underrated comment. 

My brother in law is a Jets fan.  Talk about a guy who makes poor life choices. 

Dipshit couldn’t even get the first-day-of-B-school quote right. It’s “culture eats strategy for breakfast.”

On behalf of countries who are routinely blown apart every other week, many due to the Petyr Baelish School of American Foreign Policy, I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that about other countries and 9/11. Tragedies happen everywhere and they suck everywhere; we just had to AmericanExceptionalism(tm) ours into “OUR…

It is time we stop singing any patriotic songs at sports games. No other country sings their national anthem before every single (non-international) sporting event no matter how inconsequential. God Bless America during the 7th inning stretch just plain sucks.  

Trust me, the Yankees and Red Sox are competitive about EVERYTHING.