Smart Student: [writes essay about the true nature of the AFAM department]
Everybody: [turns in the same paper]

Can't wait till they give that cord an extension.

Washington shoulda been Pocahontas.

I don't know. Can it really be a sport, when cheerleading trophies are giving themselves away like candy?

When made to endure jokes about hair removal it's only natural for a beard to get quite uncomfortable.

Maybe he should get the words tattooed on his neck?

This combines two things I hate: Phil Collins and the fact that I'm a Jets fan.

the only thing for us to do now is to eat shit

You know whose anonymity shouldn't be protected? Whoever did that grout work.

DeHoff- Okay, I think I'll have the entendre burger... You know what? Fuck it. Make it a double.

Hmmm...interesting take. Please tell me, are you this wrong about everything?

"Welcome to First Take with Bill Polian and Bill Polian."

Oh, I get the comparison. They both wrote about Red Menaces.

BREAKING: the NFL has hastily and retroactively promoted Cardinals linebacker John Abraham to executive.

That's what I don't get. Goodell has such a hard on for suspending people, and so little tolerance for anything that generates bad publicity, why didn't he just suspend the shit out of Rice in the first place? He knew the tape would eventually get out, and even if it hadn't, the details that were already public were…

I think a better solution would be instead of boards, have a ledge that players will fall over and then a Turtle on a cloud with a fishing pole rescues them and drops them back in the middle of the ice.

"That's about when I lose interest, too." - Roman Polanski.

How far did he punt that player?

In Alaska they call this "campaigning".

Metal Gear Solid has gotten weird since I played last.