Indeed I did. In haste I committed the writing sin of mixing my metaphors Styrofoam building fronts.

Two Conference Rivals, both alike in humility
(In front of fake Philadelphia library, where we lay our scene),
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes,
A draft announcer bludgeoned by boos umpteen.

Pretty sure he pushed off of Roger Goodell right before doing this..

Good sir, the President is a coked up orangutan, not a drunk. Please do not besmirch his good name with this error.

Hey now, if the United States can be run by a drunk orangutan, so can Da Bears.

That was pretty much my thought. Seeing the headline, I was like “so, the Cowboys draft him in the 4th or 5th round instead?”

Another draft day bargain pick for the Dallas Cowboys, America’s Team!

Well, enjoy not talking to people for a few years. Milwaukee has several of the best young stars in the sport with a future MVP candidate among them.

How did he go from a 6.41 ERA (!) with 108 K’s at age 32 to a 2.77 ERA with 180 K’s at age 36 with the Cubbies? It’s certainly a head-scratcher.

Great closing paragraph in that SB Nation article you linked to

Uh... prolly not this Pope. Prolly not even Benedict.

“Wealth and power can shield a person from the consequences of their actions...” and then they finally get fired or become president of the United States.

It was the most NFL players that have ever attended a White House visit EVER!

Particularly bold on a team with Thon Maker from Sudan.

1970s, I guess. Oscar Robertson, Lew Alcindor/Kareem, Lucious Allen.

As a Milwaukeean and a Bucks fan, fuck this greasy little fish lipped has been. And combing your hair with buttered toast went out with ‘ol Ronnie, Scooter..

Good luck getting home from Toronto, Giannis and Thon!

Not necessarily. What is the QB going to use now to try and beat back blitzing defenders?

You gotta admit, the change from carrying the helmets to wearing them is probably a net positive.

Roger Goodell should be picking up the tab considering he’s clearing $30 million a year.