This smells like it’s going to be the motherlode of stomach churning Hollywood scandal. I hope the rumours about his Dad are wrong but...

...I don’t see a great deal of difference between that and now.

Other “breaking news” they were ready to cover:

If you tend to care more about national politics than local, also remember that local elected officials are the farm team for the big leagues; today’s school board member is tomorrow’s congresswoman.

He was trying to break Rand’s spine but couldn’t find one.

Alia Shawkat’s story about her first kiss being on-set and how nervous she was (but tried to play it off) was hilarious.

Unpopular opinion: Episode 7 was my favorite of the season. I love when shows with an established formula veer wildly into a side story with totally new characters.

So as much as I have always been on the Bernie side of things here, I have to say this seems as much like an expose on the Democratic party as it is on Clinton, since it was their mismanagement and spinelessness that allowed for this in the first place.

Finally, I have a sort-of excuse to post this, which I’ve laughed at way too many times while alone in front of my computer.

If I let Jeff Goldblum read my palm, I’m not so much “falling for it,” as I am “in on it.” That man is sexy AF.

*Presses finger to earpiece* I’ve just been informed that Kevin Spacey is triple gay

Waiting for Bryan Singer and Roland Emmerich victims to start speaking up.

Heidi’s costume in full:

Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?

You guys, I’ve been wandering around giddy all morning. Although there’s still a chance this doesn’t take out Cthulhu or his eldritch spawn, I feel hopeful for the first time in a long ass time.

Yep. Surprise: all of you all got herpes already! Even without kissing Usher! 25% of women have genital herpes, almost everybody has the herpes virus in some form. Most people just don’t have symptoms, or don’t recognize the symptoms as herpes.

50-80% of people have oral herpes

1. She contracted oral herpes

That’s what I was thinking. I have it, my dad has it, mom never did. My husband does not have it, both my kids seem to. All of us just get occasional cold sores if we’re sick, that’s it. I personally think we all have the virus but for some it just doesn’t produce symptoms. Either that or they have some sort of…

Right, but the question is can I sue my mother for giving me cold sores when I was a toddler?