YES every time some guy says that (it’s your Dad’s name), I’m like, well I don’t KNOW my mom’s mom’s mom’s mom’s mom’s name because patriarchy, so I couldn’t have it if I wanted it. RARR

Because what if you marry someone who also has a hyphenated last name? And then your kid also marries someone with 4 last names? Before long everyone has, if I remember my proverbs correctly, a billion last names and we’ve cut down the rain forest to print people’s novel-length birth certificates.

Preach!

I know it’s just a typo but for a second there I was pretty excited about the Fairy Conservative South.

My Very Serious Girlfriend and I decided that if we ever get married we are going to both change our names to Mr. and Mrs. Incredible Hulk.

Everyone should just take whichever is the superior last name (let’s be honest, there almost always is one). Then we will phase out all of the lame surnames and America will be great again.

Until your wife sees your choice and then gives you The Look

Texts, or workplace IMs. SAY WHAT YOU’RE GONNA SAY.

Don’t panic Gmoat. This has got to be a bad dream. Come find me when y0u wake up.

“He likes pouring it over his body and wallowing in it! He likes letting it seep between his fingers and toes and ass cheeks! While in a bee costume! Just look at the smile on his face.

Straight from Star Shower website...

Poor Michelle Dockery (Lady Mary from Downton)! Her fiance just died and he was only in his 30s. Cancer is truly a bitch.

This being the 3rd anniversary of Sandy Hook, I’m elated to see that Ohio truly cares about the safety and welfare of children.

When asked about post-fetus children in his state who don’t have enough to eat every day, the AG commented ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

snip-snip hooray

“Everyone was like, why do you have tampons and I was all WHY NOT I AM STILL VERY YOUNG AND HIP AND MENSTRUATEY AND SEXUALLY VIABLE right, daughter? You think I’ve still got it, cameraman? How about you over there? You? Anyone?”

On a side note, this is exactly why abortion needs to be legal. Women used to die from child birth all the time and people are forgetting that. It’s a major medical event. I hate when people make flippant remarks about “why can’t the woman just stick it out for nine months and let the baby be born?” Because its not…

My cat used to sleep on the keyboard or right next to it. I got a small square plastic dish pan (Rubbermaid type thing) and put it on a chair next to my chair. It took about a week to teach him that he will get petted and or left alone if he lays there but picked up and moved if he lays on the desk. Now he just…

I stole this joke, but it is a good joke.