Damn. That is cold. I really hope his marriage to your mom was a lot better.

Though I've never been cheated on, my mother cheated on my father while she was in college. He was working multiple jobs (several hours away from campus) to help put her through school and one night, after she had said she was missing him all week, he decided to surprise her with flowers. He drove down after work…

I think it would be a nice Jezebel article to critique said letter. You know for giggles. Then sending a link to the letter writer via Facebook or some other public forum for "feedback".

I was seeing one of my longtime best guy friends (whom I'd kissed a couple times over the course of our friendship, but had just started, like, being with in any more significant capacity). He told me that he loved me quickly. The whole thing was very intense. I'd been hearing rumors from mutual friends that he was…

I read my boyfriends diary. To whom he spoke to, in the third person. Like "Hey there diary, things are awesome." Some highlights:

It's one of those moments where you ask what FREEDOM tastes like.

I couldn't get through that, too annoying and my attention span is too low today. Someone transpose it for me. :D
(I just realized that I probably mean transcribe, not transpose, but I'm gonna leave that because it's kind of funny.)

Did you hear that there are 6.022/18*10^26 molecules of chemicals in every liter of tap water you drink?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!????!?!??!?!??!?

I feel like "Attending Other People's Weddings" needs two spots, one with open bar and one without.

I think that's part of the point - that the distinctions people place on art often have little to do with the artwork itself, and that people will jump at the chance to make themselves look daft by trying to look smart.

I'll have that wench know that I received my proposal of marriage in sweatpants. And not just any sweatpants, but disgusting old grody ones with the crotch worn out that I reserved only for housecleaning. So There.

She lives in Los Angeles, right? She probably wears socks like, two months out of the year. People have no idea what it's like to be cold.

It's not really about sweatpants, fellow ladyfriends. Some men actually like sweatpants. It's about letting ourselves go. That's the REAL cause of divorce... Because once we, as women, let ourselves go then we're not physically attractive for our men anymore, and that's the whole reason they love us!

It's true. The "Binders Full of Women" did not change my vote.

Oh, revelation. That's probably why I have an aversion to cuddling too. My brain automatically goes "I know where this is going! Abort! Abort!" It sucks.

Lenny has never done anything near as good as the stuff Missy Elliot performed at the Half-Time Show. This is not a Hot Take, it's a known fact.

"I would like the purity of my daughters protected."

Fun fact: Anybody who writes or utters the phrase "I want the purity of my daughters protected" in regards to a bra commercial is going to be a grandparent at 35.

Meetings about meetings in preparation for a third meeting. I've had two in the last week. I want to burn the office down and throw my co-workers through the glass windows.

I fucking hate meetings that shouldn't be happening. I got reprimanded for missing a meeting with like 12 people the other day for something we couldn't do, that I told them we couldn't do over email and then told them shouldn't be happening. Everybody else showed up anyway. The whole meeting was just my boss telling…