I would find who did it and make them pay me back. That’s ridiculous. I only lost maybe $5 worth of food, so I just let it go, but there is a LIMIT, people. Jesus.

My uncle used to make the same hilarious joke about, “You have some metal stuck in your face, here let me get that out for you” while gesturing to my piercings with pliers. Every time I saw him. For years. Bribery would’ve gone over much better.

Well then. How does Charo still have such great legs? I’m less than half her age and my legs have never looked that good.

I had to have 4 additional teeth pulled a couple years ago because tiny mouth (I am so short on teeth now) and I told my mom the tooth fairy better pay up. My mom offered to just give me $100/tooth, or the approx. cost of having them pulled. Except I lost the teeth in my car and never found them. Somewhere, there is a…

Yeah I’m also gonna need one. A couple people at my job cleaned the fridge last week and threw out literally every single thing (including the frozen meal that was supposed to be today’s lunch and the very much not-expired milk I use for breakfast), so I’m already starving. And now Pinkham’s like, “look at this pizza…

I’m pretty sure Obi-Wan was describing twitter with the whole, “wretched hive” thing. We should basically never pay attention to it. It’s basically made of white supremacists and porn bots.

My general response is, “Explain to me how this affects your life in a concrete manner.” Being uncomfortable doesn’t count. Everyone is uncomfortable with something, and we don’t all get to decide that thing doesn’t exist (see: me and veins, I wish veins would gtfo but they won’t, which is rude). Sometimes, pointing…

Right? Like if someone tried to bully me now, I’d just laugh and say, “Yeah you’re nowhere near as mean as me, but good try.”

When I was 8, I went through the entire beginning of Baby Got Back in the car with my parents and grandpa. My mom was like, “uh did you just call someone a total prostitute??” They started paying more attention after that.

Weirdly enough, my standards are only high for myself. I’m much more forgiving of my friends, and if anyone talked to them the way I talk to myself, I would punch that person. But I am also kind of a shitty person.

Yeah, I definitely have a public persona that shares traits with my real self, but is much more functional. The sarcasm is reduced a little and the nihilism is reduced a lot, and I seem a lot more motivated than I actually am. Meanwhile, I haven’t mopped my floors in months because every time I try, I get overwhelmed…

Right there with you. I have a doctor’s appointment next week to get back on anti-depressants, and I’m already pretty sure I’m either going to end up cancelling last minute or my husband is going to have to take me. Fixing my shit is really hard and I’d rather just play video games and pretend my problems don’t exist.

Christ, no. That’s the last thing I want. I hate myself.

You don’t know what kind of equipment these gangs have! They have their rock and roll and their marijuana cigarettes and their anti-tank cannons. Youths!

I’m pretty sure that’s already a subgenre of Captain America fanfic. I know I’ve read at least a couple of “Cap and Bucky go to FUTURE Coney Island and catch hepatitis!” sorts of fics. Or they’re just disappointed. Whichever.

Right? No one’s judging the men for going after the same woman. It’s obviously her fault for having a vagina, amirite? It 100% parallels a lot of people’s real life experiences. Like, were they talking about Widow or my freshman year in college?

Hntrss13 and I had a pretty long conversation about the slut comments yesterday, and having slept on it, I still feel uncomfortable with the entire thing.

Yeah there’s been a lot of “who’s the partier” and everyone points at him. I mean, yeah, he’s the only one not married and/or a parent, but he’s also in his mid 30s so he could maybe slow his roll a little bit.

No, I’m totally worked up about it. I’m not kidding that my face has been Brit’s face for a good hour. I’m so irritated. It was a bad question, especially since her entire involvement with Hawkeye was being concerned that he was mind-controlled and wearing an arrow necklace in the movie in the same movie she was…

OH MY GOD RIGHT? I was thinking that when I saw that story. Like...dude, don’t. I get that it was sarcasm and it’s not his fault that the MCU treats Widow like she’s just there to be written as a love interest instead of a badass, but this was my face when I watched the video. They could’ve said, “Yeah she broke our…