Honestly, that’s how I thought it worked. They support you in incredible ways, and then you thank them with something meaningful (I got both of mine a piece of jewelry, nothing crazy but nice and went with their dresses). My MOH did give me a present, but it was a wonderful used cookbook from her own collection,…

This person is rude. I love takeout and would never take it away. Unless I'm in Britain.

Why do you have to take the joy of being self righteously “healthy” away?

Fuck anything automatic, even synchros. I drove a dog box for the first time today at the track and I loved every single fucking minute of it. Anybody who thinks shifting is dumb has no idea what a matched rev downshift is like.

It's not like she can step down and hug him, sheesh. I'm sure all the people accusing her of being cold are effusively warm themselves too.

Yeah, I mean I lie sometimes about sending an email or text that somebody “didn’t get” because I’m a disorganized hack, but I’m not “accidentally” deleting things only NOM and One Million Moms cares about on the worlds largest social media site.

In her defense I hoped I would be Asian when I grew up, cos the lady in the “Les Miserables” ad on my Riverdance tape was really pretty and I wanted to look like her.

Wtf. I used to pick out the black barbies when I was little (I’m white) and nobody ever said shit about it. Now my goddaughters favorite doll is black, and her grandma is soooooo mad, and I've heard many other stories in a similar vein. I swear, we’ve gone so far backwards. I blame the Internet. Nobody knew what to be…

Also what happens when two hyphenated people have kids. What then? Four names? Are we going back to Spanish Royal names? Because I mean that's fine.

I think I really like you

Um, yeah, what? How is this something that even can be talked about without putting the proposer in jail.

Is it bad that my main takeaway is that Poon is a fantastic last name?

I think japanese would be the most delicious, all lean and clean and salty.

I don't think working at Starbucks is necessary to feel that way, but it certainly augments it.

Just for the record, I love Ferraris. But these people.

You've clearly never met one of these people. Or their spawn. They are not benign.

Even though I hated it I still ended up in the bathroom with other people, always. Where does that wiring go for those 6-8 years?

Nope, this is customers being assholes. If they were smart they’d be aware of how dickish that move was and what running a restaurant requires.

I need more vindication though. These leave me with an unquenchable to punch every middle aged man in a polo I see for at least 24 hours, because at least one probably deserves it (usually I just want to kick them in the shins and run)

Oh man, I am a late night bar frequenter and totally freak out when I realize we’re the group. So then I make everybody chug their drinks and leave a giant tip and run.