This makes me feel infinitely superior about my personal experiences. Because the camel toe is strong with the onesies. There's a reason you stop wearing them after the diapers come off, much as I want to...

Fuck sound deadening.

Where do you live? Because I live on the west coast and I'm pretty sure I see more Asian people than white people. I understand demographics tend to get a little more homogenous when you move away from the watery edges of the country, but seriously being surprised a non white person speaks English? Sheesh.

I am aggressively polite, and I have no problem nicely but firmly explaining why somebody should not do something in a restaurant at the time of the event, particularly when I’m hosting. Obviously I pick my battles, but I have many places I am recognized as a regular, so if one of my guests is being a boor, I do my…

I think that’s what it was always called and my powers of recollection are just exceedingly poor.

Because their sex shamed wives won’t show them their vaginas.

I really liked it when I was 7, so I tried it again a couple years ago in a moment of food desperation. It's now on the list with kfc and Taco Bell for crimes against my GI tract.

We had a thing called Boston Kitchen for a while, and they also did a terrible job representing you. It was like kfc with thanksgiving dinner instead of fried chicken.

I wore heels to work one day when I was in retail...and no. Minimum wage is just not worth that kind of pain, even if I’m selling more of your shit cos people think I look cute.

I have shitty rhinestone tiara I bought for a project and didn't use, and a braided safety wire tiara I made, and I lovecwearing them both. I also have at least three commissions off the wire one. It's a thing. Everybody just doesn't want to admit they want one.

I fucking love heels. Wedges, pumps, stilettos, let me at them. But fuck anybody that says when I have to wear them, or that anybody has to wear them, ever. I love wearing makeup and heels and constricting clothing because I can. Then I get home and put on yoga pants cos that shit is tiresome for more than like four…

It's the kind of stuff that if you wear it all together, and you're slim, and you wear high heels everyday, you look great in it. Everyone else looks like a lumpy beige frump.

This is why I'm glad my state allows me to carry a taser, pepper gun, and a knife. And then I have a backup husband w/cpl. Because people are great until they're terrible.

Thanksgiving. My brother was graduating from basic two days before and would be on his first break, so we were flying from the west coast (already the worst, see) to Georgia for his graduation, then driving down to Denton, Florida for the holiday. Along with my husband and parents, his high school girlfriend was…

I actually kind of liked the random conscripted service. It always made me laugh for whatever reason.

Cricket flour is also delicious. I had a Rice Krispies made with it an it just sort of tasted like a granola bar version, if that makes sense.

Sorry not sorry for tearing up about the unsung hero.

Did you ever have any Lego Scala? That was the only Lego/doll/girl series I ever liked, and I still have all of it. The house as everything in it was fully modular. The baby crib could also be built into an armchair and ottoman, or a chaise. The dolls had real clothes and hair, their limbs bent like sporty barbies,…

I’m a woman. I own almost every Star Wars Lego set, including the old school Falcon and Star Destroyer (Star Wars is my jam, people try to front and they get smacked down). I also have copious amounts of LOTR, Harry Potter, and all the Pirates OFTC ships because they’re amazing.

I don’t think it was an everyday thing, since I’ve seen the guy more recently and he was not nearly as harried. But that's why I'm nice, because apparently other people are demons.