I don’t have this in plaid, sorry.

You’d be amazed at the security deployed at the larger churches. Just the locks on the doors cost more than a nice dinner.

In the video game world it’s all looting. Dead bodies, even.

The flood ruined my pantry and my entertainment center. I’ll stop at Best Buy on the way from from looting the grocery store.

Exactly. Antifa (and I know a few) seem more like edgy middle school anarchists.

“You might not be greeted with open arms.”

Now’s the time they choose to go on a fishing trip?

Kind of a metaphor for his presidency, I just hope the good actually comes after the shitstorm.

Swap windshield, install rear disc swap, adjust valves, oil change, new tires, alignment, new battery (already done), replace fuse (done), install washer pump, maybe starter, wash and vacuum, do burnouts.

Oh, what am I going to actually get done?

Eat an orange like an apple. You’ll thank me later.

Ex deserves exactly what he paid for, a tall, thin, blond woman.

If moose knuckle-onesie is pulling chicks like that... I better go on a diet, and buy new casual wear.

Doesn’t bond have sex with like 5 different women before the credits roll? How is that going to work with a woman as bond??

Arguing with dipshits on facebook usually goes like this:

Who makes this shit up?!

How did they correct for IP discrepancies?

My location is always shown as about 50 miles away because that’s where my ISP sends me out into the real world like a mamma bird sends her chicks.

Why didn’t the giant that was filming just reach down and pick up the mustang?

The fire 7 is TRASH. If you just need a teething toy that sorta looks like a tablet then the Fire 7 is perfect.

The fire 7 is TRASH. If you just need a teething toy that sorta looks like a tablet then the Fire 7 is perfect.

Knowing 4chan, “Hitler did nothing wrong.” will win.